confessions of a gear slut

Hello, my name is Michael, and I'm a gear slut.

I'm a collector of BDSM gear and other adult products.  Some might say I'm out of control, that collecting BDSM gear has become an obsession, a hobby that's nearly as important to me as the actual BDSM acts and scenes I love so dearly.

I'm not sure.  I can tell you that it's so bad that vendors and manufacturers are getting to know me personally.

A couple smaller vendors like Adam and Gillian's Sensual Whips and Toys have long ago become like friends to me.  After talking to Gillian on the phone to their workshop, and exchanging multiple emails, not to mention sharing a hobby, how could I not feel the tugs of some kind of kinship?

Similar friendships are likely to be built with other craftsmen and craftswomen I am frequenting more and more over time.  I've very much enjoyed shopping from the couples behind Wyred Slave (great folk by the way!) and Happy Tails Floggers and Whips.  I'm sure I'll be talking more to them both in 2012.

I've gotten to know the folks over at Tantus well enough that Serafina and I got a personal Christmas Card from one of their management team, who we hope to meet in person when vacationing in 2012.  We are also planning to tour their production facility at the same time.  

I'm pretty sure that so many packages have been delivered from Mr S Leather and The Stockroom through my local post office that the clerks there have been curious enough to google the corporate return address on the packages.  I can't find any other explanation for the knowing looks and the sudden change to addressing me sharply as "Sir"!

I've exchanged a few emails with the Brand Manager of Liberator.  Twisted Monk is a Facebook friend for both Serafina and myself.  I'm friends with Maui Kink folk over on FetLife.  And, I'm still seeking new BDSM vendors and manufacturers to add to my "stable" of friends and suppliers.  

After exchanging some emails with the Tetruss bondage suspension rig, Serafina and I have discovered an interesting and thoughtful individual.  We have purchased one of his rigs for ourselves, and we'll be writing it up here at SpiritualBDSM in 2012 as a product review.  

My collection of restraints is extensive, but everything in the collection predated my relationship with Serafina.  She has embraced her slavery so completely and fully, I felt as though she deserved to have a set of regular restraints that had never been worn by any other.  Meaning, Canada's Aslan Leather gear will get a thorough review here in 2012.  I've ordered a complete set of their Master Series Restraints for Serafina in purple - wrist, waist, thigh, and ankle restraints, including a matching collar.  

I'd really like to make another similar restraint order later in 2012 from Sinvention, yet another Canadian supplier of BDSM gear.  I'd love to match this years Aslan restraint order for comparison purposes (wrist, waist, etc.) from Sinvention's Classic Deluxe line, and I've also been eyeing their line of medical style restraint.

I'm still lusting after a few more pieces of E-Stim (electro-sex) gear too.  I'm planning for 2012 to bring purchases from Eros Tek as well as Paradise Electro Stimulations.  Serafina and I are just exploring this territory, but she's finding it very exciting.  I suppose watching video from our subscription to Wired Pussy isn't hurting there . . . 

So, by the time I've finished listing all of these purchases, all of my obsessions, it all leads what might be called "Confessions of a Gear Slut."  As I've said before, my name is Michael, and I'm a gear slut!  

Funny thing is, I don't have any particularly strong individual fetishes. I mean I love latex, PVC, and leather; blindfolds and gags are a turn on for me; I have a thing for bondage and restraint; corporal punishment and discipline can fuel my fire; and, there's at least a little bit of a sadist in me.  But none of those alone are a singular driving force.  

I simply just love it all!

Maybe it would be easier if I only loved one aspect of BDSM play, if perhaps I had a single true fetish that drove my desires it would be easier to be satisfied with what I've collected.  I can't help wondering . . . 

Ahhh, probably not.  

If I was a latex fetishist there'd always be one more piece I wanted, or needed.  Were I simply into leather, I'm sure the story would be the same, one more belt or pair of chaps, a new leather shirt.  

12 steps

So here I am.  I've apparently entered territory where I should be starting some kind of twelve-step program for folks like myself.  I can't be alone with this problem.

If all of this seems a little dire, not to worry, I'm anything but despondent about my "problem."  You see I have one other issue to tackle first, as there are times I'm at least a little bit of a procrastinator.  Quite obviously that problem will need to be dealt with first.

Looks like I won't get around to starting that Gear Slut Support Group until at least 2013.  That gives me plenty of time to take advantage of at least one more sale.  To make just one more buy . . . 

SpiritualBDSM.com is an affiliate partner to Tantus, the Stockroom, and Mr-S-Leather - however no links in this post carry any affiliate code - all images and logos associated with this post are property of their original company and respective owners who retain all copyright - use of these images does not imply endorsement of SpiritualBDSM.com by their original owners

sac·ro·sanct

I read the comment, "The ultimate deal breaker, I love my hair."

I was over at tumblr.com this morning, surveying all the lovely kinky images people have shared at that site, when I ran across the accompanying picture.  As is common with tumblr, there are no credits or copyright information, so I have no idea who created this stunning image.  I don't know who made the stunning collar, nor do I know the identity of the model.

What I do know is this - the comment that accompanied the photo made me chuckle.  When sharing the picture, the author of the tumblr blog bigirlfantasy said:

The ultimate deal breaker, I love my hair.

Please don’t misunderstand, in chuckling at this comment I’m not making fun of anyone’s limits or taking a jab at this individual.  Far from it.  In fact, I’m sure there are a lot of ladies, and some men too, that would balk at having their head shaved.

I’m just a lot more used to hearing or seeing different kinds of things as “hard limits” - kids, animals, scat, watersports, bloodsports, etc.  So it’s simply that this isn’t one of the common limits I’ve seen listed.

Because it wasn't what I expected, it made me think. It struck a chord.  It made me think.

Now, I probably need to tell you that a good “think” often causes me to chuckle.   If nothing else, I laugh at the absurdity of life, and how serious and dear we sometimes hold transitory things.  Thing like hair and physical beauty are fleeting, impermanent. How and why do the matter so much?

With that said, the real reason I write this short essay isn't to riff on metaphysics, it's to discuss limits, and to say that all limits are sacrosanct.

sac·ro·sanct/ˈsakrōˌsaNG(k)t/

Adjective:	(esp. of a principle, place, or routine) Regarded as too important or valuable to be interfered with.
Synonyms:	sacred - holy - inviolable

There are two basic kinds of limits, Hard Limits and Soft Limits.  They are similar, yet very different.

Hard Limits are serious stuff, really serious stuff.  They are urgent.  Hard Limits deserve demand our attention and respect.

Hard Limits are kind of like a fallout zone.  When you go there you can’t see the radioactivity or feel it, but trust me, it will fry you just the same.  Go there once and you are pretty much toast, done, finished, kaput.  It's over baby!

The catchphrase to remember for the deadly nature of hard limits - "Avoid Like the Plague!"

Soft Limits are a slightly different animal.  They are also sacred and sacrosanct, but they aren’t necessarily deadly.  Instead of being absolutely disgusting, Soft Limits are usually scary things, forbidden or taboo, yet things for which we feel both attraction and dread.  There are times where soft limits can even be potent fantasy material.

Soft Limits can be approached, discussed, pondered, evaluated, and even negotiated.

As an experienced dominant, I enjoy helping a submissive challenge their soft limits.  If you are a young or inexperienced dominant, this is territory to avoid. Before somebody thinks to themselves, "These old dominants always want to keep all the good stuff for themselves," please give me a moment to explain.

Pushing limits is not something I’d suggest for new and inexperienced dominants, because they need to need to know the great wealth of experiences to be had and enjoyed without ever approaching any kind of limit.  I see BDSM as an "additive journey" - each successive step you immerse yourself in makes the final whole that much greater and rewarding.  The beginning dominant robs themselves of many wonderful experiences and much potential pleasure by trying to skip to the head of some imaginary line.

Newer dominants need to have experienced and resolved what to do when a scene goes wrong or falls apart before approaching or pushing limits.  BDSM is a rewarding lifestyle, at least in part because it involves skills that come only with time and experience.  And please remember, "Mastery" isn't something that is bestowed upon a person as a birthright, it's not an exercise in self nomination, or a declaration one makes, it's an accumulation of a lifetime of accrued skills and knowledge.

Please remember, even when you are experienced and comfortable in BDSM, even when you know you are ready to start, anxious to begin exploring this aspect of dominance and submission, playing with soft limits needs to be a slow, careful, and thoughtful process.

I guess a good analogy would be to say pushing soft limits is a lot like butt sex, assuming that ass fucking is not a hard limit …

Like with anal sex, It’s best not to push too much, if at all when playing with a soft limit.  Instead it’s far better to let the submissive relax into everything.  Always use patience, care and love, to help your submissive or slave get comfortable with the pleasure she can receive …

OK?

Now, as for shaved heads on women, I do think they are sexy.

Having her head shaved is not a limit for my slave/wife Serafina.  We discussed this a few months back when I discovered that bondage ropemaker Twisted Monk enjoyed shaving women’s heads.  I even have a plan.

Her head will be shaved the year I finally retire, the first year I no longer work for pay.

At that point, we will begin spending most of our time travelling together in an RV.  Our plan is to spend the better part of most of those "golden years" on the road, exploring North America, having kinky adventures, visiting old friends and meeting new ones.

It's a long time away, at least 20 years for me, but I'm already making plans for travelling and living in a "mobile dungeon."   I'm already investing in travel cases for all my BDSM gear, organizing everything with help from a company called  For Your Nymphomation.

And I'm already fantasizing about teasing Serafina with the cool air of the RV's air conditioner, asking her how it feels on the naked flesh covering her skull.  Won't she be quite the sight, pumping gas for me, her bare head accentuating the very obvious thick steel collar locked around her neck?

Ohh, baby!

The Collar I Wear

In a relationship often symbols matter.  

Most people seal their significance with a wedding ceremony where the couple exchange rings, as they promise to stay faithful and true to each other.

Symbols and vows can certainly be made in complete privacy.  Some even live together all their life without the ritual wedding in harmony because of their understanding with one another.

A rite is an established form of religious or otherwise solemn practice.  A ritual is a prescribed form for carrying out the ceremonies associated with such a practice (both from Latinritus 'ceremony')  There are many reasons for creating such. . it may be that their children will have a single name, or it could be that personal and spiritual convictions dictate compliance.

It is also a public "brand" that states "I am not available, I am committed to another"

In our own path Master Samadhi and I were in a relationship for a time before any formal display could be considered.. Our circumstances were such that they disallowed  a wedding.  Once we had removed the obstacles and overcame our barricades, we were married by a Unitarian minister and we sealed our vows with matching white gold rings. And, we honour each other  and we wear them faithfully every day and night.

Master later asked me to help find a collar that would be suitable to wear everyday.  After much searching we settled on this 4mm one from Wyred Slave . the description from their own site follows.  You can see here that there is a screw locking mechanism that is set by a special allen key.

Wraith Band Collars are one of our simplest, yet most effective designs and are hand crafted from fine stainless steel rope which complements the polished aluminium Wraith Lock to create a stunning yet individual item of jewellery.
The bands are available in a selection of guages/widths from fine 4mm (approx) through to a heavy looking, yet light to wear, 9mm.

It is simple, easy to wear and does not interfere with anything.  it is accessible able and Master Samadhi also purchased the ring attachment from them.  There is a minor draw-back in that it does catch and pull out about 20 or so hairs a day, but otherwise  is easy to clean in the bath or shower, I take time to dry the collar completely.  Sometimes I will give it a swipe with rubbing alcohol to ensure no bacteria build-up occurs and to prevent problems with my skin as it is fairly sensitive.

Master placed it on me with a personal and private ceremony.  I had to cross an international border, so not needing or wanting any attention from authorities Master and I reluctantly removed it for a time.

I like the fact that one can add adapted accessories: only with Master's permission, of course!  I found this piece which I think is adorable, and meaningful.

Master Michael says --  I love the collar I've placed around Serafina's neck to display my ownership, to mark her as my property, my slave/wife.
Finding an appropriate collar that is permanent but still dressy enough for every day wear in the vanilla world was not a simple task.  Fortunately, the folks at Wyred Slave had the same problem, and saw a business opportunity.
The collar, as you can see for yourself, is very pretty.  The O-ring feature can be added or removed at will.  It's addition really dresses the piece up, to make sure the collar's intent is perfectly clear - slave collar!  As I stated in my prior review of Wyred Slave as a vendor, their customer service is outstanding and very personable.
The only downside we've discovered in several months of wear is the issue of hair being caught in the weave of the collar.  But, there are a myriad of solutions for such a minor issue.
For instance, I know that there's a gentleman in Seattle named Twisted Monk who has a fetish for shaving women's heads, he's personable, attractive, and he's a sex worker.  If we are ever travelling towards the Pacific Northwest, I might have to see if his fetish can resolve my wife's problem.  What fun that would be to watch!
Here's Master's take on the slave collar from Wyred Slave condensed to 5 words:

1. beautiful

1. delicious

1. versatile

1. captivating

1. enslaved

That says it all!

Yes, Master, I bet we could work something out. . . LOL

 Your Serafina!



DISCLAIMER - SpiritualBDSM.com and it's owners (Michael Samadhi and Serafina Samadhi) are not associated or affiliated with Wyred Slave or wyredslave.com in any manner.  We have not received any compensation or consideration in return for this posting.  


All images within this post are property of SpiritualBDSM.com - © 2011 Serafina Samadhi.

rope sample packs from TwistedMonk.com

Are you just getting started playing with Shibari or Love Bondage, but having a hard time deciding what kind of rope to use?

Perhaps you are worried about natural fiber ropes and their potential to set off skin allergies?

Maybe you've noticed that natural fiber rope for Shibari/Love Bondage is expensive, and you want to be sure it's what you want before committing to a significant purchase?

What about folks who already own some nice rope for playful restraint, but are looking to add some specialized or exotic rope to their toybag?

There's one simple answer for all those questions - grab some rope sample packs from either one of a pair of the BDSM world's most respected rope makers - Twisted Monk and Maui Kink.  Problem solved!

TwistedMonk.com's Hemp Rope Samples 

For today's posting, we will detail the contents of the two sample packs offered by TwistedMonk.com - the Classic Hemp Rope Sample Pack, and the Exotic Rope Sample Pack.  Each sells for the nominal price of $2.49.

The classic sample pack has every size and standard color of Monk's own premium hand conditioned hemp rope offerings, garnering you multiple 6" lengths of his 4mm, 6mm, and 8mm diameter rope.

Those hemp rope samples will come in a variety of colors: Natural, Black, Crimson, Statutory Grape, and finally Sex and Violet.  I looked but could find neither Statutory Grape nor Sex and Violet on the artist's standard issue color wheel, but I can assure you the rope produced in those colors look stunning.

When I recently discarded of all the bondage rope collected and used in past relationships, I purchased the Monk's Kit to give my toychest a good basic selection of quality hemp rope.   I will be detailing and reviewing that purchase in the very near future here at SpiritualBDSM.com, but it shouldn't be too much of a spoiler to announce here that Serafina and I choose Sex and Violet for our rope's color.

Silk, Bamboo, and "OMG this is Hemp" Exotic Rope Samples from TwistedMonk.com

Twisted Monk's exotic kit has samples of his other more unusual rope products.  I would have said the exotic kit contains his non-hemp offerings, but among the exotics are yet two more varieties of hemp, "Bavarian Blonde" and "OMG this is Hemp?"

If Monk's regular offerings are considered to be premium quality hand conditioned hemp rope, the Bavarian Blonde rope would have to be called a super premium rope.  Instead of three twisted strands of hemp cordage, this German made rope has four strands, and it's twisted more tightly.  I'd guess it's stronger than an equivalent three strand rope, and it's tight four strand twist gives it a slightly different look and feel.  Very nice!

"OMG this is Hemp?" is unique to my personal experience, a lovely white hemp rope that is somewhat reminiscent of the white cotton clothesline I used for bondage back in the 1980's, at least in it's looks. The rope has a very touchable quality, it's soft and supple with a smooth feel.  Far superior to any cotton rope I've ever handled.  I'll be adding a few lengths of this rope to the Samadhi House toychest soon, so an in depth review should follow here in the not too distant future.

When speaking of a "touchable" rope for Shibari and bondage, the Handspun Bamboo sample from Monk is, without a doubt, the softest and most sensual rope I've ever handled.  Serafina enjoys just running her fingers up and down the length of the sample, it's really that good.  It's my understanding that bamboo fibers have a natural antibiotic property, and that bamboo rope washes well, making this the perfect tool for use in more intimate ties.  Another sure future purchase!

Rounding out the array of exotics from Twisted Monk's sample set are Handspun Silk and Handspun Silk and Bamboo ropes.

Surprisingly, the silk rope isn't as soft as the Handspun Bamboo, although it's a bit softer than the "OMG this is Hemp?" sample.  The Handspun Silk seems to have a bit more stretch than the other rope, and there is a sponge like feel, more give under compression, making this another interesting and unique offering.  It may also be one of the better choices for individuals with very sensitive skin, or skin allergies.

As might be expected, the Handspun Silk and Bamboo rope feels and handles exactly like the hybrid it is.  Not as stretchy or spongy as the pure silk rope, and not quite as soft to the touch as the pure bamboo sample, it's a unique offering in it's own right.

All of a rope's different characteristics can effect their best intended use, and no single rope is best for all uses, so what might seem at first to be an overwhelming variety is really in practice something more akin to an artist's palette.  To the bondage or Shibari master, each is a potential tool for them to work their own rope art and magic, with their desirability dependent on the artist's unique vision.

If the look of white rope is important for aesthetics, or for taking pictures in the style of vintage bondage and fetish artists like Irving Klaw, neither the Silk or the Silk and Bamboo are as bright a white as the OMG Hemp or the Bamboo ropes.  Traditional Shibari artists will probably want natural toned hemp rope, or they may even opt for another manufacturer's jute rope offering for even greater authenticity.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all of these ropes are beautiful to me in their own way.