psa from John Waters

Although it's not impossible for me to relate to this message, I have to confess that I've never had a one night stand, I've never been in a situation where I'd "go home with somebody".  At one time in my life, I lamented this factoid.  I felt like I was missing out on something. 


I'm told by some that I've not missed anything in having avoided awkward moments waking up with strangers.  But, who am I to say what I have or haven't missed, when it's something that's totally beyond my experience?


With that said, I do think Waters' message itself is valid enough. I'm a reader, always have been and always will want to have a book (or one of those newfangled electronic reading devices) in my hands most every day.  


It's also hard to imagine anyone who's not intellectually curious enough to be an avid reader also being intellectually curious enough to be into sex the way I like it.  But, I suppose that's a bit of geek prejudice on my part.


It does seem that the day is coming where this message will become archaic.  While I'm positive that there will always be hook-ups and one night stands, I'm less sure that books in their current physical form will not increasingly become more and more rare.  


Keeping book collections on electronic devices is the future.  So Waters' question may very well become . . . 


"Before I go home with you, I have to ask . . . Do you have a kindle app on your i-phone?"

different Shades of Grey - slave assignment 3/16/2012

My darling Serafina,

On your Kindle you'll find three new books by E. L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed.

Your assignment is to read the trilogy in order, and make 3 separate posts, one for each book. Each post will detail, discuss, and review an individual book. Your review of book one is to be completed before the end of April, book two by the end of May, and book three by the end of June.

with desire, devotion, and dominance,
Michael X. Samadhi

What I love most about the hoopla surrounding "Fifty Shades of Grey" is that the story here isn't really about women getting turned on. It's not even about women desiring more sex with their partners. It's about women sharing information with each other. It's about storytelling and friendships. Women have found something that enhances their emotional and sexual lives and want to pass that knowledge onto their friends, family members, and even the world at large.
    ~ Dr. Logan Levkoff 

For individuals reading this assignment who aren't yet familiar with the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy and the story's protagonists, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, you might be in for a treat.  The series is very popular.  To best of my knowledge, Shades of Grey is the first time any book with a frank portrayal of BDSM has made the bestseller list.  The first book of the trilogy is currently the #2 seller in Kindle books at Amazon.com, having already reached the pinnacle of that category in a previous week.

Here just a small sample of links to media coverage of this book phenomena:

1. NPR -'Fifty Shades Of Grey': Publishing's Sexiest Trend 
2. NY Times - Discreetly Digital, Erotic Novel Sets American Women Abuzz 
3. LA Times - Bestselling 'mommy porn': '50 Shades of Grey'
4. Huffington Post - Deconstructing Fifty Shades of Grey
5. Slate - Book Club Erotica

Techniques of Pleasure

SM is a practice of the self, a form of community and belonging, an impetus to consumption and lifestyle, and an eroticization of social inequality.

   ~ Techniques of Pleasure: BDSM and the Circuits of Sexuality by Margot Weiss

Much as ethnographers go to places like New Guinea to live among and study the natives, putting their customs and rituals under the microscope of science, so has the BDSM community been studied.

Yes, boys and girls, a scientist moved to San Francisco and lived among the leather crowd to study and analyze our behavior.  Now there's a book retelling and analyzing the experience.

The book's author, Margot Weiss, specializes in the ethnography of contemporary sexual cultures and politics as an Assistant Professor of American Studies and Anthropology at Wesleyan University.

Serafina asked me, as I read her the opening paragraphs, if such a study legitimizes what we do.  I replied, "It may very well have that effect."

I wonder at the same time to myself, if it marginalizes our community.  And, in it's own way, the book may do that as well.

You see, there are times when life delivers a platter of delicious contradictions.  BDSM itself has always seemed to me to be a construct of delicious contradiction, built upon the two sided coin of sadomasochism.

But my personal perceptions of BDSM are observations from within.  I've always been attracted to bondage and power exchange, I can't separate who I am from how I perceive.

With that in mind, I picked this book up with great interest.  Here was a look at the community I inhabit by the objective eyes of an individual trained in ethnography.


Do you ever wonder how people outside the BDSM community perceive us?

Even that simple question is more complex than it seems, as the "BDSM community" is not some monolithic construct.  We are a widely varied group of individuals who's interests and sexual practices have been shoehorned into an acronym.  

Even saying that I am an inhabitant of BDSM community is bit problematic.  I fit a large number of the characteristics described to be inherent to the BDSM community as described by Weiss, yet there are a number of significant differences as well.


I've never been to a munch, nor to any of the various social events she attributes to be key aspects of the BDSM community.  I've never been to a "play party" either, unless you count the never ending series of threesomes (and the occasional foursome) with BDSM overtones that occurred in my home during the 1990's to fall under that heading.

And, I also get the feeling that the BDSM community in other regions outside of San Francisco may have evolved rather differently than the community Weiss describes.  So, this study might be best viewed as a serious look at a single distinct BDSM tribe.

As such, it's a very interesting book, fascinating in fact.  I find myself stopping to ponder the points that Weiss makes, to question her conclusions, or, to try and decide what conclusions I might personally reach based upon my own experiences.

I'm close to finished with my first full reading of the text, so I should be posting a more complete review of the book very soon.  I can already recommend that you pick up a copy for yourself, as the book is challenging, but thought provoking.  I do not suggest the hardback version for $71.97, and not even the softcover for $24.95, as Techniques of Pleasure is available on Kindle for just $9.99.