Wednesday, April 11, 2012

further discussion of the "birth control" debate

Ultimately, I wish that issues regarding our sexuality were never politicized.  Unfortunately we live in a world where everything is politicized, including behaviors and beliefs that are essential to our humanness, spirituality and sex.  Because we live in a political world, and because this is an issue that ultimately deals with our sexuality, I do believe that the overtly political discussion of the ongoing debate about birth control and insurance coverage is appropriate for this blog.

It seems to me that this is an ugly debate, as it touches issues that are deeply felt by everyone.  When discussing issues like economics and morality, we are inherently on unstable footing, all of us.  Despite our personal assurance that many individuals feel, that their faith is the one true faith, that sad truth is that nobody really knows what's on ther "other side", or even if there is an "other side".

Any debate that sets people up for desperate opposition based upon their personal sense of money & morality is a debate that can rupture friendships. So what am I doing, but telling both sides they are wrong.  It's an uncomfortable position to be in, were it not for the fact that some close friends who truly understand my reasons and motivations for entering this debate telling me that these things need to be said.

Here's an excerpt from correspondence with a dear friend, who is both a wonderful woman and very much a progressive, posted here with her permission:
 I work in a hospital, and provide a service that is self pay- I've noticed a glimmer of burgeoning interest of the concept of preventative health care- which the insurance companies don't like, because they want everyone in America tethered to some form of exspensive ongoing test, treatment, pill...I've had clients on the verge of having back, neck or shoulder surgery who have recovered and been able to manage their pain with lifestyle changes like exercises and diet- many people who have had joint replacement who otherwise would have suffered from diabetes or heart disease because of their limited mobility are living vital active lives. Based on my experience, trying to fund our current health care system is untenable- for instance let's say you have pretty good insurance- go to your GP because you have a stiff neck and shoulder pain and headaches...a few vicoden scripts, some harrowing trips to a orthopedist, maybe a neurologist, and several MRI's and thousands of dollars later you're on a cornucopia of drugs that further inhibit your ability to function, and there is no answer or diagnoses... our best customers in the Physical Therapy clinic are Europeans who swear by "physio therapy" because in Europe they treat the causes of structural imbalance before they turn into chronic issues only marginally treatable by surgery or drugs. It seems like the whole system is geared to allowing the un or underinsured to suffer sub-par care, while turning the insured into immobilised zombies. Part of the reason I love my job so much, is that I get to offer people affordable, sustainable relief that is outside the current paradigm of out neurotic approach to health care. So yeah, that's what everyone should be thinking about, not the paper tiger of the free birth control issue- you are totally right that it all obscures the real challenges of health care reform. 
That's so very well said I simply had to bring the perspective to this debate.

Also, because I'm less than completely enamored with the way comments are navigated around and shown by blogger, I'm going to include a comment made in regard to my last post on this topic, as well as my response, which I've further embellished . . .
I think that the problem is that Viagra has been covered by insurances for awhile and birth control is not always covered. I don't think any of it should be free but if one is going to be covered the other definitely needs to be. Seems just a little sexist. Also the cost of no birth control coverage is awfully high for everyone involved. Respectfully, DJ
Thanks for the comment DJ! :)

The state I live in long ago mandated that birth control be covered, and I've have no quarrel with such a mandate. I should have been more clear about that in my essay. If there is a medical necessity for birth control, then I see no problem with insurance covering it.

My big problem is the demand that birth control be available free, which is the strident position of the liberals. The thing is - a fair co-pay for birth control would be similar to the co-pay senior citizens pay under Medicare Part D for their blood pressure, cholesterol, and diabetes drugs - $15 to $45 dollars - and that's already the average cost of birth control pills according to Planned Parenthood . . .

Involving insurance in the equation simply adds an extra middle man and more cost for everybody!!!

As for the cost of no birth control coverage being too high, I think that is a false argument. For starters, condoms are cheap and effective, and they also come with the side benefit of preventing the spread of many sexual diseases. Seriously, it's not that hard to "wrap that rascal"!

More focus on condoms (as opposed to hormone based drugs) is cost effective and also is a public health boon - so once again the birth control debate is the wrong discussion at the wrong time . . .

When it comes down to insurance coverage for Viagra, I don't personally agree that it should be covered by insurance, but dragging erectile dysfunctional pills into the debate is false logic. If you have a problem with Viagra being covered by insurance, fight that, don't use it as justification for other drugs to be covered.

Furthermore . . .


My ex lied about back pain (counselled by doctor) to get her breast reduction surgery - all paid for by insurance. I'm not upset that breast reduction surgery is covered for women but not for men . . . men get saggy breasts too ya know - but if I went to my doc and asked for a surgical solution - I'd be laughed out of the office!

"Tit for tat" arguments are false logic, it's apples and oranges in a way, and it forwards the agenda of people who wish to stress the differences between sexes, who have a stake in the so called "battle of the sexes".

I've got news for folks there too, smart people, real progressives, now realize that the gender wars were also a distraction forwarded by individuals with real agendas against the so called opposite sex. Gender isn't a polarity, it's a spectrum. There aren't two genders, as there are varied forms of gender expression, and people can change their so called "gender" today.

If you are a member of Fetlife, for instance, you already know that there are more than two available choices for gender . . .

So, for my way of thinking, any argument that's men vs women is inherently archaic, not to mention elitist. It assumes that there are only two gender roles that are available and/or appropriate. People who are progressive and educated in terms of gender roles know that limiting ourselves to only two choices for sex expression leaves huge numbers out of the conversation.

Rather than focusing on the difference between women and men, I believe we should embrace our own unique sexual individuality, just as some Eastern belief systems stress that dual nature within each of us, the yin and the yang.  We are all human, and what we share is the human experience, not the male or female experience . . .

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

the "birth control" debate

Today I'm here to talk about the birth control issue, a debate that's clouded with partisan rhetoric on both sides.  I hope to discuss the issue, not from any partisan viewpoint, but instead from the viewpoint of a reasoned and reasonable individual with real world experience in all aspects of making and implementing decisions of this kind and dealing with their consequences. 


I am qualified to comment on this issue because I've been a policy analyst, a legislative analyst, and I've also personally crafted legislation that has passed into law.  Obviously, I've worked in positions of responsibility, positions of public trust where my judgement was relied upon to serve the interests of my community, the state in which I reside, and our nation.  I've also held a party office within the Democratic Party.  Under those auspices, I've helped to develop and implement electoral strategies.

I have a long history, not only in government, and in party politics, but also in organizing.  I was a community organizer long before President Obama made the position seem to be a fashionable one.  I've earned my stripes.  

I'm not attorney with a well paid position to fall back on, most of my life I've been the guy in the trenches.  I didn't just go door-to-door with petitions etc. myself, for over a decade I trained others how to do it, some days bringing them along while I danced door to door myself.

I fought for equal rights and for equal pay.  I've battled for civil rights, community rights, reproductive rights, senior rights, disabled rights, not to mention the right to know.

So you'd think I'd be a very natural ally for the advocates in the ongoing debate on whether birth control should be provided free of charge by insurance companies in the United States for all enrolled individuals who request the drugs.  If you made that assumption, you'd be wrong.

I don't care what any candidate is saying on the issue, I don't care about talking points or gender politics, and I'm also here to tell you this isn't really an issue about women's rights, nor is this issue about religious rights.  Folks, this isn't an issue at all!

It's all a gigantic smoke screen, it's a circus show.  It's entertainment and a distraction and really nothing more.  All sides are guilty of making it such, in all honesty they all know it's a debate over nothing.  They like debating nothing, and they absolutely love all the sound and fury this debate elicits from the "faithful".

Conservatives are frothing at the mouth, rabid with the thought that the government might somehow use a drug benefit to erode their religious freedoms, not to mention undermine the entire free enterprise system.  Liberals are no better, as anyone who stands against this notion of universal birth control is labeled a traitor against women, a chauvinist, or perhaps one of the evil cabal hell bent on sending women back to the dark ages.

If you are feeling anything akin to any of those emotions, I'd ask you to take a deep breath and keep reading.  If you are feeling more neutral, I'd like to commend you.  Now let me proceed.  

Before I commented anywhere on this issue I asked my wife, a Canadian, about birth control in Canada.  Now everybody should know up front that Canada has a form of Universal Health Care we here in the US often call "Single Payer" - all Canadians basically get government coverage for all standard medical care, it's universal (everyone is covered) and the government acts as the insurance provider (single payer) . . . 

Liberals usually love single payer health care systems, many were disappointed that Obamacare didn't at least include a nod to some kind of single payer system (the government option) while most Conservatives shudder at the thought that any part of health care might become a government function.  

Well folks, we already have had years of a form of single payer health care, a hybrid, for pretty much my entire life.  It's called Medicare.  Would it confuse you if I told you that's also the name of the single payer system in Canada, Medicare, only there you don't have to wait until you are 65 years old to get it.  Nobody dies in Canada waiting to get on Medicare, because they are born into the Medicare system.

Like I said, Heaven for liberals, and Hell for conservatives.  So how does the Liberal Heaven Canada provide for birth control?  Does everybody get it for nothing?

Not exactly.

There are some things Canada does differently regarding prescription drugs that have important side effects in controlling prices, but the simple answer here is that nobody gets a government guaranteed prescription drug benefit.  It doesn't exist.

That's right, Canada, with Universal Health Care for all, the model for many liberal and left leaning health proposals, a system I've advocated for, that my wife has lived under and knows intimately, does not provide any prescription drug benefits for it's citizens.  If you really want, you can buy it on the private market, but nobody Serafina ever knew did so.  When folks in Canada need a prescription, they pay for it out of pocket.

Now there is a group here in the US that has a guaranteed prescription drug benefit available, Senior Citizens and the disabled, folks who get Medicare.  For a small monthly fee they can get prescription drug coverage that guarantees them affordable co-pays.  Well, affordable is a relative term, but a $45 co pay for a month's supply of name brand drugs is common under Medicare Rx.

Low income Medicare recipients can qualify for further reductions in cost, but they almost always have to pay a co-pay of some kind, even for generic prescriptions.  When push comes to shove, nobody I know here in the US gets any prescription drug free, there's always at least a nominal co-pay.

With that background, I think it's safe to move to the actual topic of this post.  The $200,000 question . . . 

"Is it sound government policy to require insurance to cover birth control and provide it for recipients free of charge?"

Here's where I get myself into hot water, because I'm going to dismiss the arguments of both the left and the right.  I'm going to start with the arguments of the conservatives and the religious right, in this case they are neither religious nor are they right. 

I'm rather sure the words - "birth control is a sin" - never came from the mouth of Jesus Christ.   It's certainly not stated as such anywhere in the 10 Commandments. I'm going to alienate the entire Catholic Church by saying that prohibitions against birth control are a man made invention, pure and simple.  

And please don't quote prohibitions against killing, that's a big smoke screen.  Preventing conception is not a form of murder, unless you'd like to take the position that all male masturbation is mass murder.  Wet dreams would be involuntary manslaughter under that line of reasoning, obvious silliness.

The Catholic Church makes a mockery of itself by saying that there is an allowed form of birth control (rhythm method), and by saying that there are "just wars" (killing is ok some of the time!) - Both positions are mutually exclusive when taking the moral high ground.  

Here is a pretty simple viewpoint free of all ambiguity.  Either birth control is wrong, or it isn't . . .  either killing is wrong, or it isn't . . .  The Catholic Church can't have both ways without becoming obvious hypocrites.  

Furthermore, our country was founded on the principles of separation of church and state.  I certainly oppose the Government imposing any regulation or rules on our right to worship.  The two entities should be separate and distinct.

Health insurance and worship are two other things that should be separate. It's not that I'm opposed to companies which are faith based, but there's a fundamental problem when we combine faith with modern health insurance.  The catch being that Government has the right to regulate commerce, and insurance is commerce, and there's no way faith based insurance should be exempted from regulation. 

There's a simple solution here, religious groups who do not wish to be regulated can stay out of the insurance business.  When they enter the insurance world, they are entering a regulated commercial realm where government regulations are commonplace, they must then accept that business is regulated, even if faith is not.

See, this isn't that hard folks!

We've already established that a government should not have the right to dictate to a faith, but that when that faith enters the business realm, where government regulation of commerce is a long accepted practice, they need to accept that they will then be subject to business regulations just the same as everyone else.  

Now comes the part where I alienate everyone else, where I say that despite the governments right to regulate commerce and dictate rules to the business world, that it is absolute stupidity to give anything away for free.

Now the truth is we all know there's no such thing as a free lunch.  So, in effect, part of the problem is human nature, when something is free it creates a psychological problem where it's automatically devalued in our minds.  Free things get tossed in the trash unused, as they have no obvious intrinsic value. 

It's just bad policy to give anything away for free.

Even with Medicare, Grandma pays a copay for her blood pressure drugs, her cholesterol drugs, and her diabetes medications.  Persons with disabilities also pay co-pays for their prescriptions drugs.  It's only fair that everyone pay some kind of nominal fee for their prescription drugs, it helps assure that the drugs have a value in their mind and will be taken, and it also helps to offset the drug's actual cost.

And lest be totally honest here.  Birth Control isn't an expensive drug.  I looked at Planned Parenthood's website, and they say the average cost of a month's supply of birth control pills is between $15 and $45 dollars.  That happens to be exactly the price range of Grandma's name brand cholesterol drug under the most common Medicare drug plans.

So I ask, in all earnestness, to the strident women who have attacked me elsewhere when I have attempted to tackle this issue, why do you think that your reproductive freedom is more important than the health of your Mother's (or your Grandmother's) heart?  Why do you believe birth control should be absolutely and totally free to you, but that it's ok to ask little old ladies to pay for their lifesaving drugs?

Before somebody starts jumping up and down saying, "Grandma's drugs should be free too!"  I'm going to ask for deep breaths again before I point out that our country can barely afford the benefits being given to Grandma right now.  Medicare and Medicaid costs are exploding, at least in part because of the government's decision to give Grandma prescription drug benefits back in 2006.  Grandma and Grandpa's Medicare Rx benefit was never actually funded, as we were too busy fighting foreign wars and cutting taxes to pay attention to details like paying for the health benefits our government was offering.
Before somebody else starts jumping up and down saying, "Grandma's pays a premium for her coverage so it's not government subsidized . . . " - I'm going to ask you to get a clue!  Do you really thing that the $35 a month Aunt Elsie is paying to AARP-UHC for a Medicare Rx coverage is paying the actual cost of her insurance?  (I'm falling out of my chair laughing here . . . )  Not even close!

A huge government subsidy is going to AARP-UHC to make sure they don't lose money covering Aunt Elsie, Uncle Bob, Grandma, and Grandpa.  If those 4 folks are all getting their health care coverage from a Medicare Advantage Plan (which bundles standard medicare and Medicare Rx together) it's my understanding that the government subsidy is in the range of $1000 per person per month.

So just 4 of your relatives could already be costing taxpayers $48,000 a year in health insurance subsidies, and that's with Uncle Bob still having to pay a co-pay of between $5 and $45 for a month's supply of most drugs! Can you imagine how much more that bill to taxpayers would be if we told Aunt Elsie that the 10 prescriptions she takes every day before breakfast were going to be totally free?

And, in the end, this whole debate is a terrible distraction from the real problems our nation faces.  Giving away birth control pills is not going to address the huge economic crisis we face.  Huge numbers of people are unemployed, we've suffered a real estate bubble and a mortgage crisis that threatened make our financial systems crash and burn.  Free birth control isn't going to solve that either . . . 

Out nation's leaders' on both sides of the proverbial aisle, are quite satisfied with having a debate over a non-issue.  Such a debate distracts us from the real problems we face.  Most of the problems we face as a nation are a direct result of misbegotten government policies from the last two decades.  Many of the individuals responsible for making those terrible decisions still remain in power.

If the public held elected officials accountable for the mess our country is in, said elected officials would lose their position and authority.  I don't know of anyone who's begun to experience the privileges of power who then was in a hurry to give them up.  Even former Senator Paul Wellstone, a liberal bastion and perhaps the strongest voice in the Senate coming from the left before a tragic plane crash, broke his initial promise to serve only a single term.

I met Paul Wellstone just after he was first elected but before he was sworn into office.  I spent the better part of a day with him, chauffeuring him around the St Louis region prior to a fundraiser I'd helped to organize.  The organization I worked with had brought Paul down to be the keynote speaker for an annual event we held in the MetroEast region (the Illinois side of St Louis area.)

Paul confided in me that he only wished to serve a single term, then he planned to retire and write a book about activists like myself.  I got to know the Senator well enough that I was given a standing invitation, not only to visit him in Washington DC, but to stay at his personal residence as his guest.

That book was never written, as Paul died while serving his second term in the US Senate.  It's sad to me how the trappings of power and their allure can find ways to get even the greatest of men to break their promises, ways to have them justify their new found desire to stay in power.  Once that power has been achieved, the allure is just too great . . .

Nobody in a position of real power is going to tell you that the birth control debate is a distraction, nobody who aspires to power is likely to say so either, there's too much to loose and everything to gain by going along with the debate.  This debate stirs up the "faithful" on both sides of the question, it's designed pure and simple to motivate the "base" activists for both parties.

The birth control debate is an electoral cattle prod, it's a tool designed to keep everyone moving in the direction both parties mutually desire. But please think about this for a moment . . .


What is more important?

Is it a $30 prescription drug?

Or is the fact that a huge percentage of our country is out of work and neither party has any kind of viable plan to create the millions of jobs needed for the depression/recession to actually end?

In my eyes the answer is simple . . .

I hold this truth to be self evident - If everyone in this country had a well paying job, there would be no debate necessary about a $30 prescription drug.


Monday, April 9, 2012

What's That difference About You?

Photo by Serafina Samadhi

What sets you apart from anyone else you know?  
Yes we are all very unique,
 but sometime we really feel 
just like another frog in the pond of life.

Fetish Gags (keeping her quiet pt. 10)

Quixotic Quieters
"How delicious are these implements of torture."
  ~ Marquis de Sade
The imagination is the spur of delights … all depends upon it, it is the mainspring of everything; now, is it not by means of the imagination one knows joy? Is it not of the imagination that the sharpest pleasures arise?
  ~ Marquis de Sade
Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 10) - Fetish Gags
Welcome to yet another installment in an ongoing series of posts about gags and gagging in BDSM.  Other postings in this series (so far) include:
  1. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 1) - Duct Tape Gags
  2. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 2) - Introduction to Gags
  3. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 3) - Variations on a Gag
  4. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 4) - Wiffle Gag
  5. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 5) - Serafina's Assignment
  6. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 6) - Hand Gag
  7. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 7) - Drooling!
  8. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 8) - Gag Maker Extraordinaire
  9. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 9) - Panty Gags
  10. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 10) - Fetish Gags
Yet again, I'd like to take a moment to remind my readers that the series title is not intended to be sexist or chauvinistic.   Instead, it's a simple reflection of my 30 years of experience exploring the world of BDSM as a heterosexual dominant.

You are who you are, and I am who I am, and that is a beautiful thing.  It is marvelous that we all aren't the same in our personal wants, needs, and desires.  Instead of being offended or put-off by any references I make to sexual orientations that may be different from your own, I simply ask that you change a pronoun (or two) in your mind to bring my writing into line with your own orientation and/or world view.
Fetish & Gags
Human nature being what it is, it should come as no great surprise to learn that somebody, somewhere on God's green earth, is going to have an interesting and unusual attraction to an object most of us do not sexualize.

And, you must also know that if any object that is the subject of an individual's fetishistic attraction and will also fit inside, around, or over a person's mouth, then it's probably also been used as a gag.  In that way, this post is a tribute to the inventive nature of the human mind, and our unending ability to sexualize almost anything given the right circumstance and motivation.

The imagination truly is the spur of all delights!
I have a huge fetish for shoes and clothes and make-up.
  ~ Hilary Duff 
Shoe Gag
Perhaps the most common example of a fetish that comes to mind for most folks would be foot fetishists, people who have a stronger than normal attraction to feet.  Serafina and I had a good friend, Thomas, who was a true foot fetishist.

It's actually a relatively common fetish and probably worthy of it's own posting.  Suffice it to say there are a great number of individuals like Thomas, and an equally great number of body parts and objects that can be fetishized.

Since foot and shoe fetishes are fairly common, it should come as no great surprise that one of the fetish gags being featured in this post is a shoe gag.


Shoe gags are beyond my personal experience, but I've certainly heard of them and read of their use in stories.  I suppose if I ever had a "shoe slut" in my service, it would be worthy of consideration.
As they are often pictured, shoe gags aren't one of the world's most practical forms of gagging a girl.  Any shoe gag I've ever seen looks unwieldy and ungainly, at least to my eyes.


But what I see or envision is not the same as what a true shoe aficionado would perceive.  The point for them is simple, there a shoe is being held in their mouth with a strap.  


The object of their love and desire is in enforced proximity.  The shoe becomes a part of their personal intimate environment.  When a shoe gag is placed upon them, the subject can't escape it's vision, it's feel, it's scent, or even it's taste.


What could be better for an individual who loves shoes, than to be overwhelmed by one in such a fashion?


The Stockroom's Ballz


Here's an example of what I was referring to in saying this post is a tribute to human inventiveness . . . What's more inventive than a device that holds your nut sack in a slave's mouth?

OK, so maybe this isn't an invention that's going to change the world.  But it does have a pending patent application, not to mention a trademarked name, to go with all it's awards and advertising hyperbole,

Ballz Gag  
2011 AVN Award winner for Best Fetish Product!
Patent Pending


Put your submissive in their place – and KEEP THEM THERE!


That’s the idea behind the Ballz Gag™, the new and original ball gag brought to you exclusively by The Stockroom, where we aim to take your bondage and cbt experiences to new heights. As unique as it is versatile, this supple leather device puts the “balls” in ball gag, specially crafted to keep you and your partner as close as possible.


The Ballz Gag™ is a very unique collaboration of a gag and a ball stretcher that forces your partner to pleasure you until you release them. One high quality leather strap slips around the back of your sub’s head and another around your sack just above your balls, positioning your balls in their mouth. Don’t think that you are in complete control though! Your partner may be the one with a pair of balls strapped to their face but if they decide to move, you have no choice but to follow, lest you want to lose your jewels. This particular dynamic can lead to an interesting interchange of dom and sub roles. 
I told that neither Don Draper nor Peggy Olsen were involved in the production of that advertising copy, nor did they sit on AVN's awards panel.  In fact, I'm pretty sure no one located even remotely close Madison Avenue could say, "Puts the “balls” in ball gag" with anything resembling a straight face.

Obviously then, it's a good thing we've got folks on L.A.'s Sunset Boulevard, as well as the wizards of San Francisco's Market Street, to pick up that slack.
Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door.
  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I prefer tongue-tied knowledge to ignorant loquacity.”   ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
Getting All Tongue Tied
When objects like a clothespin or mousetrap are placed on a submissive's tongue, it effectively serves many of the same purposes as a gag. I'll let you, my dear reader, decide if that actually makes this nifty little trick a gag, or not. In the end, where we might decide to categorize an activity isn't of great importance, it's just another form of human sexual expression.

The tongue is largely composed of muscle, as such it's fair game for some BDSM style play with clips and clamps.  Tongues can be exquisitely sensitive, as you probably know from biting your tongue as some point in your life, there are plenty of nerves that help us to sense our way around our mouth, to prevent tongue biting from becoming a common activity.  There are also taste buds and some significant blood vessels (on the underside) so please use reason and caution.

When putting anything into Serafina's mouth, or on her tongue, I really prefer objects that can easily be cleaned and sterilized.  That actually makes tools like mousetraps and wooden clothespins more than a little bit problematic.  

I guess my squeamishness regarding wooden impliments and their ability to hold bacteria goes back to my youth, when I was training to be a Chef.  I'm not keen on putting worn street shoes into anyone's mouth either, for that matter, but I'm not going to tell anyone what level of safety they need to apply.  

I always counsel to use common sense and a reasonable level of caution with all your life's activities, whether they be BDSM related or not.  As my father always used to tell me - let your conscience be your guide.
“A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation”
      ~ Mark Twain 
“Art made tongue-tied by authority.”
  ~ William Shakespeare
It's my personal perspective that we all have fetishes of one sort or another, they are simply expressed in a mild form.  We call them desires, or preferences, but essentially they are all the same thing, and to my train of thought that makes the terms effectively interchangeable.  

If you prefer big chested (or conversely smaller chested) ladies, it is my perspective that you have a mild fetish based on breast size.  If the only way you can get off is in the presence of a individual with a specific breast size, then it's a strong fetish indeed.  

Substitute the word "desire" for the word "fetish" in the proceeding paragraph and the meanings don't really change.  I guess it means that when everything is all said and done, any gag could be considered a "fetish gag" if your particular fetish happens to be gags.  

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Happy Easter

Serafina and I hope that our friends who celebrate Easter had a happy and joyous Holiday.

Officially, Easter is the time to remember Christ's crucifixion and resurrection, hence the image of the cross in the opening illustration.

Of course there are any number of ways and reasons to celebrate the holiday.

Although it will never rival Valentine's Day, it would seem that Easter is the calendar's second best occasion for the consumption of chocolate.
Dee devours chocolate (and life) with glee.   The always lovely Curvaceous Dee given the fine art treatment.   
(photo of Curvaceous Dee by Hylas - artistic effects by FotoSketcher)

Thursday, April 5, 2012

floggin' floggers - Tool Talk (pt 1)

Samadhi House Floggers (photo by Serafina Samadhi)
Have I said before that I absolutely love floggers and flogging?  This is the one fetish activity I think that I could literally do to anyone who desired a flogging, regardless of their sexual expression or orientation, regardless of their body size or shape.

Yes, regardless of any of those "minor details", I could get a kick out of flogging you, your sister, your brother, your Father or Mother, if your children are of age to consent, and they wished to feel the touch of my lash, I'd enjoy giving it to them too.

Now, before anyone gets concerned for the welfare of their parents, siblings, or children, I should point out that my wild and wanton flogging desires are always kept under complete control.  I'm hardly some kind of psychopathic serial flogger, as I can literally count the number of individuals who have felt the bite of my lash on my two hands, with perhaps a finger, or even two to spare.

In order to earn a flogging here at Samadhi House, you've got to request it, and I actually prefer to hear at least a little sincere begging.  Not to worry though, they really are worth all the trouble, as my array of floggers can produce most any sensation, from mild to wild . . .

Not only am I an aficionado of the fine art of flogging, I'm also a collector of fine floggers for practicing my art.  What I can't count on my two hands is the number of floggers in my collection.  The current home for my floggers, a converted DVD case, is pictured above, albeit a bit blurred.

I have decided to become more dedicated in making posts sharing my BDSM tool collection.  Through the years, I've amassed a pretty amazing array of implements, and it seems that it's high time I shared my many blessings, at least vicariously, with you my dear reader.

Please note that I very deliberately avoid calling any part of my collection "toys", as this isn't child's play.  While the term "play" or "playing" may be commonly used to refer to BDSM scenes in other circles, that's not how Serafina or I refer to our activities.

We don't "play" BDSM . . . We live it . . .

And that's the real reason your families are safe from my lash.  Serafina knows my many talents as a dominant, as her Master, quite intimately.  She very much enjoys my attentions, even when the sensations I create are more extreme, and she's not exactly itching to share.  (Not that I blame her.)

Perhaps someday, if the time arrived where we found an individual desiring to submit to us both, in service and in love, a slave to serve us both, to share together as Master and Mistress; such a reward might be worthy of the price paid in sharing her Master.  Meaning - unless you or your family are applying for that slave position at Samadhi House, I can assure you, my dear reader, that everyone else is quite safe.

So, the only way I can really share my flogger collection (not to mention all my other lovely tools) is to give you a virtual tour here, at our web home.  I'm not going to write reviews in the standard sense, as I won't be talking about packaging or my ordering experience, I just can't be bothered with so much of the other BS that's common in toy reviews I keep encountering these days.

But as is typical with men, I'm willing to talk about my tools.  Entire TV shows have been based around that concept, careers made . . .

Well, my name's not Tim, and my sidekick's name is Serafina not Al.  I can also promise to always endeavor to avoid parroting copyrighted show names too closely, as a sign of respect (cough cough) . . .

With that said, nothing changes the universality of gender stereotyping that continually reassures me that guys are always happy to talk about our tools.

Meaning, I have to ask . . .

"If I show you mine, will you show me yours?"
Samadhi House - Bookshelf Display (photo by Serafina Samadhi)

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

this Purple Mamba will bite!

A newly revised version of this post can be found at MichaelSamadhi.com.
A pair of true Beauties!
self-photo by Serafina Samadhi - caption by Michael
I've posted before about my love of floggers and flogging, so it should come as no great surprise for you, my dear reader, to learn that my most recent BDSM related purchase is yet another flogger. And let me tell you, this one's a beauty.

I tried a new flogger maker for this purchase, Snake Pit Leather Works, and although I only brought my purchase home from the post office a few days ago, I've had enough time to carefully inspect the quality and workmanship of my new tool.

I am impressed!

My flogger collection is fairly extensive. Although a few of the oldest of my "impliments of instruction" came from unknown sources, all the rest were custom made for me by one of two established flogger artisans, Adam and Gillian or Happy Tails. Both of those flogger makers produce high quality products, beautifully designed and wonderfully functional.

But, I have to say, as well as my previous purchases serve my needs, my new Snake Pit Leather Works (SPLW) flogger looks to be the best of the collection. It's truly a piece of art. Of course I still love all of my older "implements of instruction", but when it comes time to purchase my next flogger, I'll be contacting Nancy at SPLW.

The flogger I commissioned is called the Purple Mamba. Most of my more recent flogger purchases had fallen on the more sensuous side of the flogger spectrum, so I wanted something heavier for this purchase. While looking around online at my various options, I showed Serafina the two pictures from SPLW's website that accompany this post (far bottom), and she fell in love with the Purple Mamba's look.

The tresses or "falls" are a nice heavy bullhide, and, as might be expected from this particular flogger's name, they are colored a beautifully deep shade of purple. Despite being a heavier and thicker leather, the feel of this bullhide is still fairly soft and almost buttery. Running my fingers through the Mamba's tresses is truly a sensuous delight.

The flogger's handle is very tightly and well braided, a real work of artistry. This is what really sets this offering from SPLW apart from the other flogger maker's I've previously frequented. Adam and Gillian's "signature" flogger handles use very different styles and materials than SPLW, so a direct comparison isn't really possible, it's "apples and oranges".

Happy Tail's floggers are made with a similar style handles, so a really meaningful comparison is possible, and I have to say that this is where the SPLW really shines in comparison. The braiding on the SPLW handle is significantly tighter and very much neater in overall appearance. The pictures don't even do it justice!

While this may very well be the most handsome flogger in my case, I don't purchase "implements of instruction" solely for their looks, what matters most is how they perform. Let me tell you, the Purple Mamba by SPLW truly delivers as beautifully as it looks.

I should, however, include one note of caution. Although it's very well balanced, this is a relatively heavy flogger, as bullhide is a thicker leather with significant heft. I didn't use a scale to measure relative weights, but this is the heaviest flogger in my collection.

I love the Purple Mamba's weight and feel. But, it's worth noting that I'm six feet tall and over 200 pounds. Smaller and lighter individuals with less upper body strength will probably tire relatively quickly when using this implement.

The bullhide tresses are weighty enough to produce a very significant thud. When "testing" a new flogger, I always use it on myself first, on an arm and/or a leg. I also will test it thrown over one of my shoulders, much as I've observed Christian penitents performing their own rituals.

It was the "over the shoulder" test that let me feel how this flogger will perform when swung with any real authority. SPLW's Mamba is a nice heavy beast with lots of thud, it can produce sensations much like being lightly punched by very soft fists, like a sudden deep massage.

Interestingly, there's also at least a little bite thrown into the mix of sensations. Despite it's almost buttery feel, the Mamba's bullhide is just stiff enough, the edges of the individual tresses just sharp enough, the textured top grain of the hide just rough enough, that some bite is inevitable.
the strike of the Purple Mamba 
(photo by Serafina Samadhi)
When it's all tallied up, Purple Mamba is a heavy and fairly serious implement of instruction. When wielded strongly, this offering from Snake Pit Leather Works has the potential to be rather punishing. This isn't soft leather taken from Bambi's ilk, it once adorned a mean old bull. There's no escaping that origin, no matter how buttery the finished hide might feel to the touch.

In my experience, it's pretty rare to find this delicious mix of both thud and bite in a single device. Most floggers elicit one sensation much more strongly than the other, but the Mamba delivers both with authority. With a little care, or when wielded by the arm of an experienced flogger who understands nuance, it can also be a sensuous delight.

For a bottom/sub/slave into heavy sensations, this flogger can be used at will during a session, anytime from warm up to cool down, and all times in between. Other individuals, ladies like my Serafina for instance, will likely find this particular flogger a touch too heavy for the very beginning of a session, but should love it after being "warmed up" with a softer and more sensuous implement of instruction.

When it's all said and done, the Purple Mamba is a very special, and very versatile flogger. I think it's safe to predict that it's destined to become one of my personal favorites. Thank you Nancy for creating this work of art!
SpiritualBDSM.com is not associated or affiliated with Snake Pit Leather Works in any manner or form.  The reviewed Purple Mamba flogger was purchased at regular retail price, and no compensation of any form has been exchanged in return for this review.  The two photos that "bookend" this disclaimer are from the Snake Pit Leather Works website, and are used here for review and demonstration purposes only.