Serafina is also my consensual slave, a designation that might confuse or bother someone who's familiarity with slavery is only with forced (or non-consensual) slavery. With that in mind, I'll try to better explain the dynamics of our relationship . . .
The most simple analogy I can offer is that our relationship is like a bicycle. I am the lead wheel of the bicycle, it's my responsibility to steer our relationship to assure we reach the desired destinations. Obviously then, the beautiful Serafina, my partner in all things, is the rear wheel. Her love and devotion, and yes even her surrender, are the forces that power our relationship.
Make no mistake, regardless of who makes the final decisions, the relationship is a true partnership. A bicycle loses it's identity - ceases to exist - without a rear wheel, instead it becomes a unicycle. So a Dominant needs a submissive, a Master must have a slave, in order to be complete, in order to be worthy of the title.
I also see a parallel in Tantric teachings . . .
"The entire universe is a manifestation of pure consciousness. In manifesting the universe, this pure consciousness seems to become divided into two poles or aspects, neither of which can exist without the other. One aspect retains a static quality and remains identified with unmanifest consciousness. In Tantra this quality is called Shiva, and is conceptualized as masculine… The other part of this polarity is a dynamic, energetic, or creative aspect that is called Shakti, the great mother of the universe, for it is from her that all is born."
Swami Rama
The Tantric analogy is perhaps my favorite of the bunch. In my mind Tantra and BDSM are intertwined. Although some Tantric "purists" would say that BDSM activities and Tantra are mutually exclusive, I'd disagree, strongly. More than 15 years ago, when I first started studying Tantra, I found direct similarities in the altered states of consciousness that BDSM and Tantric practices can create.
Using the word "similarities" is probably a terrific understatement. I'm convinced that some fairly well known altered states of consciousness created by BDSM (sub-space and top-space are two commonly used names for this phenomena) are exactly the same as the headspace created by Tantric practices and rituals. So it's simple for me to transmute the archetypes of Shiva and Shakti into the roles Serafina and I play for each other.
Ahhhhh, I begin to digress . . .
I believe that Serafina prefers the bicycle analogy best of all that I've offered. It's by far the most universally understood, and there is more than a little personal history as well. But, that is also a story for another time . . .
I hope it's been your pleasure, dear reader, to make our acquaintance. We will return soon with more postings detailing our life together as a couple, as we explore Spiritual BDSM.
Thank you for the question morningstar, it's something that needs to be answered better than I will in this comment. But I'm not going to put off the answer, so I'll do what I can for now.
ReplyDeleteWell, for a simple definition of "Spiritual BDSM" I'd say it's a combination of techniques learned from Tantra applied to the dynamic of a BDSM relationship.
It would be my belief, and I believe Serafina's too, that we express our sexuality as a spiritual immersion in the divine God and Goddess found within each of us.
While it's exciting to use ropes to bind my wife, knowing I have captivated a Goddess incarnate, that the Goddess will writhe, squirm and moan under my touch, and ultimately beg me to allow her ultimate pleasure, is perhaps a bigger thrill still.
Another way to answer the same question, would be to say that Serafina sees her service to her husband and Master as being not dissimilar to the submission to Christ that is the ideal of the Christian church.
Many of the different precepts offered by Judeo-Christian and Buddhists religions are similar to the devotions required within a BDSM dynamic.
We are embracing those similarities, and embracing the sacred nature of our sexuality.