Finding Submission -a very honest question

I was cruising through the list of blogs we visit like I often do.  Sometimes I comment if I think that I can contribute something positive or constructive.

 Today I found a post with a very simple question, and it inspired me to ponder the question.  Just how much of what makes a person who is willing to become a Submissive slave compelling to a Dominant becomes lost as she looses herself to her Dominant?  In other words, How much does a Submissive repress their goals, talents, or even her natural charm to become what the Sub thinks the Dominant wants.  And is that the result the Dominant is looking for?

Photo by Serafna Samahdi

Ideally, I think it should be that a Dominant would desire to let her shine and polish and enhance her abilities.  I am not sure when and how that happens, but it seems that way, especially as I read fantasy and personal accounts of activities.

Perhaps it is because the authors assume their kink is everyone's kink.  Many authors leave out the  details about how enjoyable it was to be humiliated, used for sex, and dropped off when she did not get even one thing she longed and hoped  for in the beginning of the story.  It escapes me somehow that a smart, talented person who jeopardize her entire career to do things that would bring any hopes of success to a complete halt by public scandal, yet I read stories like that so much of the time. 

I am guessing that a lot of what is fantasy is simply that . . . fantasy.  I have no issues with fantasy.  I do have concerns that people are less able to separate fantasy from facts of living, and begin to live out aspects of fantasy that are fool-hearty.

I am also aware that there are submissives who do not have clear goals, dreams or even a clue about many things and might be in need of mentoring from a qualified Dominant.

I do struggle with 24/7 slavery at times.  I do not struggle at all with submission.  I embrace submission with all I am and have.  I willingly sacrifice my agendas, and ideas to support that of Master.  But I do think for myself.  I don't believe that another person has any obligation to deliver punishment.  I believe personally that everyone has an obligation to self-correct as much as possible.  I also believe that every person has the right to ask for assistance if they feel defeated in their own efforts.  However I am also convinced that attempting to control behavior, actions and thoughts by force of any kind does no good and brings resentment to both the Dominant and the Submissive.

I do welcome comments, as I am being incredibly transparent with my questions and thoughts. I am happy to try and expand what is not clear to our dear readers.

Thanks for stopping by.
Respectfully,
Serafina Samadhi

EDIT:  I want everyone to be aware that I am very deeply devoted to Master Michael.  He is very careful to actually encourage me to become the very best me I can be. . he is even allowing me to attend Belly-Dance classes.  He would give me the moon if I wanted it.  Master is not the problem, just so you know. 

presents for slave girl Serafina

pic from Stock Images

I just ordered some very special treats for my slave/wife because she's been a very good girl for a very long time under some very difficult circumstances.

Now, when it comes to "romantic" presents most ladies would prefer things like lingerie or perfume or massage oils, and I certainly have a great appreciation for those things, but my visions are usually a little darker and quite often there's more leather than lace.

So, just for fun, I decided that the readers of our blog will know the identity of her presents even before my sweet Serafina finds out for herself . . .

In case you are wondering, I'm very certain my Serafina is a good girl and I just she won't ruin the surprise by clicking on the links I'm about to share here . . .

Surprise #1

Surprise #2

Surprise #3

While on my shopping spree I did throw in a couple goodies for myself, although I suppose they really are for use on her . . .

toy #1

toy #2

Once the presents arrive we will write about them here and shoot some of our own pictures too!

the lead wheel

My name is Michael Samadhi, this blog will detail the journey I share with my wife Serafina.

Serafina is also my consensual slave, a designation that might confuse or bother someone who's familiarity with slavery is only with forced (or non-consensual) slavery.  With that in mind, I'll try to better explain the dynamics of our relationship . . .

The most simple analogy I can offer is that our relationship is like a bicycle.  I am the lead wheel of the bicycle, it's my responsibility to steer our relationship to assure we reach the desired destinations.  Obviously then, the beautiful Serafina, my partner in all things, is the rear wheel.  Her love and devotion, and yes even her surrender, are the forces that power our relationship.

Make no mistake, regardless of who makes the final decisions, the relationship is a true partnership.  A bicycle loses it's identity - ceases to exist - without a rear wheel, instead it becomes a unicycle.  So a Dominant needs a submissive, a Master must have a slave, in order to be complete, in order to be worthy of the title.

Our relationship is not unlike the Yin-Yang symbol, the two poles of cosmic energy are yang (positive) and yin (negative).  Yin and Yang are associated respectively with the masculine and the feminine, the strong and the weak, the light and the dark, the firm and the yielding.  At the root of Yin’s existence is Yang; at the root of Yang’s is Yin.

I also see a parallel in Tantric teachings . . .

"The entire universe is a manifestation of pure consciousness. In manifesting the universe, this pure consciousness seems to become divided into two poles or aspects, neither of which can exist without the other. One aspect retains a static quality and remains identified with unmanifest consciousness. In Tantra this quality is called Shiva, and is conceptualized as masculine… The other part of this polarity is a dynamic, energetic, or creative aspect that is called Shakti, the great mother of the universe, for it is from her that all is born."

Swami Rama

The Tantric analogy is perhaps my favorite of the bunch. In my mind Tantra and BDSM are intertwined.  Although some Tantric "purists" would say that BDSM activities and Tantra are mutually exclusive, I'd disagree, strongly.  More than 15 years ago, when I first started studying Tantra, I found direct similarities in the altered states of consciousness that BDSM and Tantric practices can create.

Using the word "similarities" is probably a terrific understatement. I'm convinced that some fairly well known altered states of consciousness created by BDSM (sub-space and top-space are two commonly used names for this phenomena) are exactly the same as the headspace created by Tantric practices and rituals.  So it's simple for me to transmute the archetypes of Shiva and Shakti into the roles Serafina and I play for each other.

Ahhhhh, I begin to digress . . .

I believe that Serafina prefers the bicycle analogy best of all that I've offered.  It's by far the most universally understood, and there is more than a little personal history as well.  But, that is also a story for another time . . .

I hope it's been your pleasure, dear reader, to make our acquaintance.  We will return soon with more postings detailing our life together as a couple, as we explore Spiritual BDSM.