Finding Submission -a very honest question

I was cruising through the list of blogs we visit like I often do.  Sometimes I comment if I think that I can contribute something positive or constructive.

 Today I found a post with a very simple question, and it inspired me to ponder the question.  Just how much of what makes a person who is willing to become a Submissive slave compelling to a Dominant becomes lost as she looses herself to her Dominant?  In other words, How much does a Submissive repress their goals, talents, or even her natural charm to become what the Sub thinks the Dominant wants.  And is that the result the Dominant is looking for?

Photo by Serafna Samahdi

Ideally, I think it should be that a Dominant would desire to let her shine and polish and enhance her abilities.  I am not sure when and how that happens, but it seems that way, especially as I read fantasy and personal accounts of activities.

Perhaps it is because the authors assume their kink is everyone's kink.  Many authors leave out the  details about how enjoyable it was to be humiliated, used for sex, and dropped off when she did not get even one thing she longed and hoped  for in the beginning of the story.  It escapes me somehow that a smart, talented person who jeopardize her entire career to do things that would bring any hopes of success to a complete halt by public scandal, yet I read stories like that so much of the time. 

I am guessing that a lot of what is fantasy is simply that . . . fantasy.  I have no issues with fantasy.  I do have concerns that people are less able to separate fantasy from facts of living, and begin to live out aspects of fantasy that are fool-hearty.

I am also aware that there are submissives who do not have clear goals, dreams or even a clue about many things and might be in need of mentoring from a qualified Dominant.

I do struggle with 24/7 slavery at times.  I do not struggle at all with submission.  I embrace submission with all I am and have.  I willingly sacrifice my agendas, and ideas to support that of Master.  But I do think for myself.  I don't believe that another person has any obligation to deliver punishment.  I believe personally that everyone has an obligation to self-correct as much as possible.  I also believe that every person has the right to ask for assistance if they feel defeated in their own efforts.  However I am also convinced that attempting to control behavior, actions and thoughts by force of any kind does no good and brings resentment to both the Dominant and the Submissive.

I do welcome comments, as I am being incredibly transparent with my questions and thoughts. I am happy to try and expand what is not clear to our dear readers.

Thanks for stopping by.
Respectfully,
Serafina Samadhi

EDIT:  I want everyone to be aware that I am very deeply devoted to Master Michael.  He is very careful to actually encourage me to become the very best me I can be. . he is even allowing me to attend Belly-Dance classes.  He would give me the moon if I wanted it.  Master is not the problem, just so you know. 

I Am Deciding

photo by Serafina Samadhi

Have you recently, or ever. . made an important decision? Was it life-changing? or a minor correction?
How did that decision affect you and the ones you love? Would you decide the same way again? Did BDSM or Spirituality influence you?

Struggling for Submission

This will be a 3rd in a series of submission series Sliding into submission is the first.  2nd is Leaving the world at the door

I see a number of Submissives struggle to stay under Domination. I too struggle from time to time. The best advice is what I remind myself to do is what I advise others to follow. I refer here to Male as Dominant and Female as Submissive, because that is my world. I offer the reader to re-interpret the terms to suit your perspective.

If you love and honor your husband then you are following the greatest Biblical tradition. . And if you call him Master or Lord or Sir, then you are in very fine shape to take the next step. Letting go should not look that much different in most things you do. . but your own attitude will be the most dramatic show.

Within the 24/7 BDSM world, rules that govern a relationship is in a sense taking back the ideals that are in the scriptures. Women are honorable, they have deep spiritual understandings that come from a variety of messengers including every time a woman goes into Estes. During the messes there is a holistic, and spiritual cleansing using only the freshet blood to wash out and slough out spent tissue. It is a perfect time for a women to take a little timeout to regroup her thoughts, get some needed rest, and regroup for the next page of activity.

photo by Serafina Samadhi

It is a good time to get a spa, do your nails, and get a massage and reflect. Ponder on as many things that are positive as possible. Things that seem less positive can be re-channeled into positives. You have to seek them out. A terrible thing may have happened, but what can you learn? Forgive any hurts. You must let go of injuries for your own sake. Adding them up, and hanging on to hurts will make you sick. In poor health you can not make good judgements as well as when your mind is unencumbered.

There will be many times when you slip into an old way of doing things, but try to think about any consequences before you do whatever. Soon this will become a habit and your Master will be honored by it.

There will be times you forget; then half-way through when you remember who you wish to be. And, there may be time when it does not occur to you at all that Master may want to have a say. Confess, apologize, state how you arrived and let him tell you to move on, unless you both engage in reminder play. . it will all be good.

Just be aware and follow through what you have signed up for.

We Submissives are a very fortunate to have found a Master who is patient and takes us back time after time. And he is also fortunate to have a slave who takes time in considering what goes wrong and why.

If you are questioning your motives that is actually good. Because, if you wish to maintain this relationship you must remember it takes 2 hands to clap. . (otherwise you are just thumping).

Relationships are work! it takes both sides to be a relationship. And, no relationship is without flaws.

One of the greatest vulnerabilities of Doms is fear of his slave changing their mind and begin to accuse them of making them do things against their will, and ultimately abandonment. It is important that we fight fairly. Dominants should not threaten with strong actions to reject, nor should the submissive threaten to abandon. Not unless, that is, you are serious, and not just pouting.

It is well possible you are somewhat conflicted yourself about what it is you actually want. I know for myself when I was raising young children it was easy to want more. . or something. . anything else but what I have. The grass always seems greener on the other side.

Not realizing that what I had was exactly what I really wanted. I could only appreciate what I had back then, when years later all was striped away because one of us was so selfish to use the children as pawns. I am so very very lucky to have been sheltered by Master Michael.

My suggestion is to make a list of all the pros and cons of any decision and decide which is your best path. But if incidents arise suddenly without thought, then you need to decide if having your own way is more important that the relationship.

The one very important thing you are doing is reflecting on where/how/when did things go off-track. If you can understand where or how it got off-track then you both can work on better solutions.

We would be interested in hearing how you are working things successfully.