dick-on-a-stick - "point/counter point"

I'm told that in Marine circles, the term "dick-on-a-stick" is a colloquialism for the corn dog's found at the mess hall.  Notwithstanding that fact, today's topic has nothing to do with food or the military, yet we are going to discuss "dicks-on-sticks", only in a BDSM sense.

This post will begin with commentary from Serafina.  She's had a strong negative visceral reaction to images and videos incorporating a "dick-on-a-stick", so to begin our point/counter point presentation, I'll let her describe how those images and portrayals make her feel.

Serafina says:

To me playing, love-making, and sex is all about being close and personal.  And nothing completes me as much without the full body contact. Besides the mind, I believe that epidermis is most sensory.  Skin to skin  is what I crave.

 I feel that a dick on an implement is very impersonal. It says "You are so despicable I need this long pole, so I don't have to smell, or touch you, I might get contaminated." or "I am afraid you have a condition or disease." and "I don't want to be close to you."

I also feel that way with isolation, like say a closed box, cage or other device that completely separates.  I am very much a tactile personality, but on the other hand, it would be interesting to me to experience sensory deprivation of hearing, and seeing.

I grant that a good view for an observer, or a constant or consistent thrust could be obtained, but I have no ambitions to be a porn queen, as I am very private in general.  A steady reliable thrust would  quickly be boring, and has the potential to be annoying if it was forced at a complicated angle.  Once I get annoyed, I basically shut down.  Should I shut down the fun is done.

The real deal is I would try things if it turns Master's crank, but I would not wish to spend finances on items that don't appeal to me.  At least not until I changed my mind - it's just not my kink.


Now, for a different perspective, Michael's viewpoint:

There's very little about BDSM that doesn't turn me on, except for practices that truly damage a person's body, meaning I very much shy away from images of spikes and nails being driven thru flesh and other similar activities that are on the furthest edge of BDSM as I perceive it.  So, dicks-on-sticks (and fucking machines) don't bother me at all.

It could be said that is "easy for me to say" since I'm not going to be on the receiving end of these tools, a point I won't deny.  And I can completely understand Serafina's desire for body contact, longing for touching and contact is a base human need that can't be denied.  But to my eyes, she's missing the point of these tools entirely.

Neither a dick-on-a-stick, nor a fucking machine, is intended to replace that actual act of lovemaking, they are meant to serve as additions, as ways to prolong and enhance foreplay and sex play in such a way that the final consummation of the act of love is improved.

Seriously darling, you can't deny that when I torment you for hours, even if I allow you orgasms during that scene, that when I do finally fuck you, it's always better and creates more powerful orgasms than when lovemaking doesn't include extended play.  That's the point of a dick on a stick, at least from my line of thinking.

I honestly believe Serafina's past personal experiences are at the root of her issues with tools of this sort, as her ex-husband preferred jerking off to fucking, so she has a long history of feeling distanced, unfulfilled, and denied.  I'm also here to tell you that the man was absolutely crazy, as I've shared my bed with a fair number of women through the years, and Serafina's without a doubt the finest bedroom companion I've ever known.  I'm not your ex, and I'm not going to lose interest in fucking you, no matter what toys are incorporated in our play.

To me, a dick-on-a -tick, as used in a dungeon (as opposed to a Marine mess hall) is simply another way to tease and torment my slave.  In the end, they really aren't much different from any other dildo, they are just operated at a distance.  Distance has it's drawbacks, but it has it's advantages too.

As I've explained to you personally Serafina, it's my belief that dicks-on-sticks and fucking machines are popular in porn because they offer great visuals of a cock going in and out of a pussy or ass.  It's a better view of that action than can be offered with true fucking, simply because there's no body to block any part or angle of the delicious sight.

Just because you don't wish to become a porn star, doesn't mean you should completely disdain the visual appeal of this tool.  Stop and think for a moment how lewd you'd look to my eyes, squirming and moaning on a cock, completely bound; while I'm free to stand across the room from you to take pictures.  Don't think I haven't noticed how wet you get when you're tied up and I get out the camera!

In the end, it's just another tool in the adult playroom.  A dick-on-a-stick isn't inherently good or bad.  Like anything else in a Master's arsenal, what really matters is how it's used.  And I'm confident that when I restrain you with our Stockroom Stockade, and we explore all of it's features together, including it's arm for a dick-on-a-stick, you will be anything but annoyed.

EDIT - I actually believe that "dildo pole" may actually be the proper terminology for what we've been calling a dick-on-a-stick.  Mea Culpa!