the point is loving and serving, and owning and mastering, not hurting . . .

one supposes remarkable fulfillments may occur in such an arrangement . . . 

I've got good news and I've got bad news for you, my dear reader.  The bad news is that it seems that I have the blues, I'm feeling them hard, teetering on the brink of a very real and serious depression.  That's the bad news anyway, it's not the end of the world, but I'm not very productive in terms of writing when I feel this way.

The good news is that one way I deal with depression is to immerse myself in studies and reading, so it's not like I'm sitting immobilized and staring at the walls.  By giving my mind something to ponder and work upon, by feeding my head, I'll eventually snap out of my funk, at least that's normally the prescription to resolve my own bouts of depression.

Here is one of the fruits from my reading, an excerpt of an interview with John Norman, creator of Gor.  I'm not sure that Norman understands real world BDSM as it's practiced today, as what he describes as Master/Slave sex is essentially the same as my outlook on BDSM itself.  I guess it's really a matter of semantics . . . 

"I know nothing about "real-life Gorean slavery among some people in the BDSM community." The "BDSM" reference worries me. I dissociate myself from BDSM, at least as I understand it. I may, of course, misunderstand it. I wonder if one would settle merely for "real-life Gorean slavery," because, as I understand it, BDSM is not Gorean. If something is not beautiful, it is not Gorean. In any event, I am assuming that what is involved here, in any case, is consensual. If a woman chooses to submit herself, voluntarily, to a master, it seems to me that is her business, and his business. She would then, of course, be a slave, and would be treated as a slave. One supposes remarkable fulfillments may occur in such an arrangement. It is, of course, important to treat the slave, however uncompromisingly strict you are with her, however much she might fear you, in a humane way, as one would any other animal. Some men, I gather, dislike women, and enjoy hurting them. That makes no sense to me. Women are wonderful, and precious. It is a delight to own one; why would one hurt her? What would be the point of that, mere sadistic pleasure? I think we might distinguish between, say, S/M sex, or sadomasochistic sex, and M/S sex, or Master/Slave Sex. In a sense they seem opposite. Love is important. It is not to be confused with cruelty. Gratuitous cruelty seems to me uncalled for, and ugly, morally and aesthetically. Too, it seems unworthy of a true master. The point is loving and serving, and owning and mastering, not hurting. To be sure, the slave must understand that if she is not pleasing, she is subject to discipline. She is not to be left in doubt that she is a slave. It is easy to avoid discipline; she need only be obedient, submissive, and found pleasing, wholly, and in all ways. Sometimes a slave may desire to be reassured of her bondage. There are many ways in which the master, if he wishes, may see to this. I have written an entire book, the Imaginative Sex book, in which my views on such matters should be reasonably clear."
    ~~ John Norman - io9 profile

How many Spoons?

 Spoons are an interesting topic in a sex blog  Most of us use spooning in context with a position that most of us enjoy.  And there are variations on the theme.  But today I am not discussing spooning.  Today is about the spoon count.

Master and I both have some health issues that sometimes interfere with our intentions.  It affects not only our daily life, but also while we are at play.  Some time ago we came across  The Spoon Theory   written by Christine Miserandino  that changed our dynamics of how we arrange things- if possible.  We'd encourage our readers to read her wonderful explanation.

The theory of the spoons is that we have  multitudes of spoons in our arsenal from the time we are born to the day we cease.  As we tread through our life journey we lose a number along the way.  It might be as a result of injury or  illnesses, but we break bones and don't stay in condition, or have serious health issues befall us.  By mid-life most of us no longer are in possession of our full allotment of spoons. 

 As anyone with medical conditions knows, it is rather limiting in all the things we do.   We already know we have enough spoons to get us through a normal day. Let's say we have 25 apiece.  getting a working day done may require 18.   Then we have to ascertain how many spoons are left, and how many spoons the adventure, chore or whatever will require.  From there we determine if the job can be cut in half or whether we might have to wait for a less full day.  Sometimes, things get in the way and steal spoons!  At times we attempt to extend our energies beyond the number of spoons we have and most always pay the price in other ways the next day.

We see people all the time attempting to pay forward with spoons they no longer have.  We serve as volunteers for low-income seniors and disabled.  When we share the spoon theory with them most of them listen politely.  Every once in a while a power switch goes on for some; and the relief in their body posture and the light in their eyes when they understand and give themselves permission to nurture themselves is priceless when it happens.

Oh and by the way -- if anyone wants to know the many different spoons there are look here!

there are perverts to satisfy wherever you work . . .

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Tetruss II review

I apologize for the inconvenience, but the Tetruss II review has been relocated.

It's now found at: MichaelSamadhi.com.

dick-on-a-stick - "point/counter point"

I'm told that in Marine circles, the term "dick-on-a-stick" is a colloquialism for the corn dog's found at the mess hall.  Notwithstanding that fact, today's topic has nothing to do with food or the military, yet we are going to discuss "dicks-on-sticks", only in a BDSM sense.

This post will begin with commentary from Serafina.  She's had a strong negative visceral reaction to images and videos incorporating a "dick-on-a-stick", so to begin our point/counter point presentation, I'll let her describe how those images and portrayals make her feel.

Serafina says:

To me playing, love-making, and sex is all about being close and personal.  And nothing completes me as much without the full body contact. Besides the mind, I believe that epidermis is most sensory.  Skin to skin  is what I crave.

 I feel that a dick on an implement is very impersonal. It says "You are so despicable I need this long pole, so I don't have to smell, or touch you, I might get contaminated." or "I am afraid you have a condition or disease." and "I don't want to be close to you."

I also feel that way with isolation, like say a closed box, cage or other device that completely separates.  I am very much a tactile personality, but on the other hand, it would be interesting to me to experience sensory deprivation of hearing, and seeing.

I grant that a good view for an observer, or a constant or consistent thrust could be obtained, but I have no ambitions to be a porn queen, as I am very private in general.  A steady reliable thrust would  quickly be boring, and has the potential to be annoying if it was forced at a complicated angle.  Once I get annoyed, I basically shut down.  Should I shut down the fun is done.

The real deal is I would try things if it turns Master's crank, but I would not wish to spend finances on items that don't appeal to me.  At least not until I changed my mind - it's just not my kink.


Now, for a different perspective, Michael's viewpoint:

There's very little about BDSM that doesn't turn me on, except for practices that truly damage a person's body, meaning I very much shy away from images of spikes and nails being driven thru flesh and other similar activities that are on the furthest edge of BDSM as I perceive it.  So, dicks-on-sticks (and fucking machines) don't bother me at all.

It could be said that is "easy for me to say" since I'm not going to be on the receiving end of these tools, a point I won't deny.  And I can completely understand Serafina's desire for body contact, longing for touching and contact is a base human need that can't be denied.  But to my eyes, she's missing the point of these tools entirely.

Neither a dick-on-a-stick, nor a fucking machine, is intended to replace that actual act of lovemaking, they are meant to serve as additions, as ways to prolong and enhance foreplay and sex play in such a way that the final consummation of the act of love is improved.

Seriously darling, you can't deny that when I torment you for hours, even if I allow you orgasms during that scene, that when I do finally fuck you, it's always better and creates more powerful orgasms than when lovemaking doesn't include extended play.  That's the point of a dick on a stick, at least from my line of thinking.

I honestly believe Serafina's past personal experiences are at the root of her issues with tools of this sort, as her ex-husband preferred jerking off to fucking, so she has a long history of feeling distanced, unfulfilled, and denied.  I'm also here to tell you that the man was absolutely crazy, as I've shared my bed with a fair number of women through the years, and Serafina's without a doubt the finest bedroom companion I've ever known.  I'm not your ex, and I'm not going to lose interest in fucking you, no matter what toys are incorporated in our play.

To me, a dick-on-a -tick, as used in a dungeon (as opposed to a Marine mess hall) is simply another way to tease and torment my slave.  In the end, they really aren't much different from any other dildo, they are just operated at a distance.  Distance has it's drawbacks, but it has it's advantages too.

As I've explained to you personally Serafina, it's my belief that dicks-on-sticks and fucking machines are popular in porn because they offer great visuals of a cock going in and out of a pussy or ass.  It's a better view of that action than can be offered with true fucking, simply because there's no body to block any part or angle of the delicious sight.

Just because you don't wish to become a porn star, doesn't mean you should completely disdain the visual appeal of this tool.  Stop and think for a moment how lewd you'd look to my eyes, squirming and moaning on a cock, completely bound; while I'm free to stand across the room from you to take pictures.  Don't think I haven't noticed how wet you get when you're tied up and I get out the camera!

In the end, it's just another tool in the adult playroom.  A dick-on-a-stick isn't inherently good or bad.  Like anything else in a Master's arsenal, what really matters is how it's used.  And I'm confident that when I restrain you with our Stockroom Stockade, and we explore all of it's features together, including it's arm for a dick-on-a-stick, you will be anything but annoyed.

EDIT - I actually believe that "dildo pole" may actually be the proper terminology for what we've been calling a dick-on-a-stick.  Mea Culpa!

I live for this stuff~! Tres Kinky Edition @ TMI Tuesday

It reminds me of "The Man in the Iron Mask" - steel sensory deprivation spheres are an absolutely medieval fetish.

1. What’s the kinkiest thing about you, either mentally or physically? 
This is a hard question to answer, because, as I embrace my own kinky nature, and I immerse myself in a BDSM lifestyle, I'm finding that everything about me is pretty kinky and perverted.  Some people talk about the energy they get from a concert, I was on a contact high for three days after attending IML2012.  I'm going to say the best answer is my intellect.  I was once a member of MENSA, so my intellect is probably my strongest personal attribute, and I take a thoughtful approach to BDSM.  Although others arrived at the same doorstep independently, the path that led me to combine Tantra and BDSM was a very individual journey, led by my intellect.

 2. Do you have any fetishes? If so, what are they? 
It's not so much any one individual element that trips my triggers, the entire world of BDSM is my fetish.  I'm even fascinated by BDSM activities like water bondage, abduction fantasies, and total sensory deprivation that I'll probably never try with Serafina.  So many variations, and only one life to live them all . . .

 3. Have you ever been spanked? Did you enjoy it? Tell us more… 
Yes, I've been spanked.  Back in the 1990's, Blissful Torment (my ex-wife) our girlfriend Cherub (who I've referred to on a number of occasions) and myself played BDSM games with every one of us playing the role of a switch.  In other words, the two individuals being co-dominants and the person acting as their submissive subject was a rotating cast, we all took our turns acting as dominant or submissive.  Without a doubt, those rate with my absolute best three-way memories, especially times when Cherub and I co dominated Ms Torment. I suppose I enjoyed being spanked ok, but it wasn't as exciting as being on the other end of the experience. I'm the sort of person who believes it's better to give than receive!

 4. Have you been tied up, or tied someone else up? Did you use rope or restraints? 
This is like asking if the Pope wears a pointy hat . . . The first girl I tied up was probably about age 9, using cotton clothesline, in a tent in my parent's back yard.  It wasn't overtly sexual, obviously, but I sure did enjoy it!  The first time I tied up a girl for sex was age 17.  It was purely consensual, in fact it was her fantasy to lose her virginity that way . . . Yes, she really was a virgin going into the experience.  And yes, I used cotton clothesline again at age 17.

 5. Would you classify yourself as more dominant, submissive, a switch or entirely vanilla? 
I'm a dominant, pure and simple.  For the last decade or so I've known that in work settings I have what's known as a "command presence", I'm a natural leader in that sense.  That part of my nature carries over to the sexual realm as well, obviously . . .

 6. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? 
Influenced by Anne Rice's Claiming of Sleeping Beauty trilogy, my ex-wife Blissful Torment and I experimented with spreading tuna juices and peanut butter between her legs to be licked off by the family dog.  When the dog finished slurping off a nice thick coating of Skippy, Ms Torment turned to me red faced and started to scream.  At least that was my first perception of her reaction, then I realized she had been left on the very edge of an orgasm, and she was actually demanding more peanut butter . . . Now!

 7. Have you been to a BDSM club? What was it like? If not, would you ever go to one? 
Ya know, I've never been to one.  I used to go to a leather store in Chicago that had a public dungeon in the basement and a private leather bar attached to the side, but I never managed to go shopping there when the dungeon was open.  I am planning to visit Galleria Domain 2 in Chicago sometime in the next year, and tell all about it here!

 8. What’s your favourite fetish item or implement? 
It's all too predictable, but the ONLY answer I can offer is my DungeonBed!

 9. Favourite kinky clothing material? 
Leather.  Is there really anything else?

BTW - Serafina has a PVC Catsuit, among other fetish clothing I've purchased for her, so I'm not really as "exclusive" in my relationship with leather as my answer might appear.

 10. Thigh boots – love ‘em or hate ‘em? 
What's not to love?  I know I've purchased at least one pair of thigh high boots for Serafina, the pair that comes to mind has kneepads!

 11. If you’re kinky, who knows about it? Do you tell people or is it a closely guarded secret? 
If it was a closely guarded secret I wouldn't have SpiritualBDSM.com as my blog address . . . On the other hand, I don't feel a great need to push knowledge of my alternative sexuality onto others who I know are vanilla, I don't have a BDSM flag flying in front of my house or anything.  but, at the end of the day, the people who are my true friends know me for who I am, and that's good enough for me!

12. What are your personal limits? 
No children, nor anyone close to 21 years of age.
I cringe and shudder at videos where spikes or nails are driven thru anyone's flesh, and I don't think I could be a part of scenes involving cuttings or blood sport.
While I did admit to once having played in a scene involving the family pet, that's not a necessarily proud moment of my life, and it's my current belief that animals can't provide informed consent, and therefore are beyond my personal limits.

 13. What’s your safeword and why did you choose that one? 
Serafina uses the term "Mercy" to indicate that I'm approaching her ability to endure a particular activity.  It's easy to remember, it fits into a scene well, alerting me to a problem or difficulty, without necessarily having to end the fun.  We've never had a safeword to completely end a scene, as we live our lives as Master/slave, and I believe it's my responsibility as a good Master to avoid putting my slave into situations where she'd fail.  Not every dominant would agree with my style, but I don't "break" or "destroy" my possessions, especially my most cherished.

14. Which fetishes do you just really not get? 
(Said with a silly grin) I'm not sure I understand the question . . . I guess for me, it's an intellectual endeavor to "get" them all, even if I don't personally share that interest.  That's, to my mind, an important element in being sex positive.

 Bonus: Complete this sentence: To me, Fetish, Kink and BDSM means
I feel a little bit like Col. Kilgore in a BDSM styled remake of Apocolypse Now when I say . . .
"To me, Fetish, Kink and BDSM means everything.  Do you smell that smell?  That combination of leather and lube and PVC and raunchy sex?  Son, that's the smell of victory."

Who Are You?

 Photo taken by Serafina Samadhi

Who are you? No really! who is the real person peering out of your eye sockets?
Did, or is your life turning out the way you had envisioned it?
What is different?  Is it better? or worse?
How will people remember you when you are gone?

Your First Kiss

Photo by Serafina Samadhi

If like myself, you can not remember your first kiss, then it must have been a boring one. . so tell me about the most memorable one!

What is mine you ask?

The first time Master had me come to visit I flew out from O'hare Airport in Chicago, Illinois to return to my Canadian home.  I was about to go into the passengers only area feeling sad to leave when Master scooped me into his bearish embraced and kissed me so gallantly that the entire airport stood still and watched.  The kiss lasted what seemed forever because time stood still at that moment.

Romance at it's best!!

Ivy League Goes BDSM (again)

It seems that sadomasochism, bondage, and discipline really are out in the open on our Ivy League campuses.

Less than a month ago I told readers here at the Spritual BDSM blog that BDSM had made the Yale Daily News.  Now, it's time to report that BDSM has also made the news in the storied halls of Harvard.

Here's how the February 29, 2012 story from the Harvard Crimson begins:

Sarah likes it when her hands are tied to the bedpost and a bar is secured between her knees, spreading them apart. During sex, her boyfriend dominates her roped body as she happily calls him “sir” and “master.” She asks her boyfriend to objectify her and call her derogatory terms.
For Sarah, whose name has been changed to protect her privacy, the pain from the ropes is not what turns her on. Sarah is kinky, which for her means enjoying losing control of the situation, and even control over her own body.
Within the kink community, Sarah identifies as a “sub,” short for submissive, and she thinks it’s hot when her body’s movements are in someone else’s hands. She says having kinky sex allows her to escape “from the pressures of having to be this Madonna-whore thing, where I’m supposed to know what I’m doing but I’m also not supposed to want to do any of it.”

Wow, now that's (mostly) my kind of journalism!

The bit about how "the pain from the ropes is not what turns her on" is perhaps a little over the top, as I don't believe being skillfully bound is inherently painful, but I suppose I can let that glaring inaccuracy slide . . .

The article is incredibly open about student's sexuality, as another quote about Sarah will reveal:\

At the time of the interview Sarah had come back from having sex with her boyfriend in Widener. For her, having sex outside the bedroom, as well as the thrill of potentially being caught made the experience kinky.
She says that having kinky sex increased her confidence because it allowed her to be comfortable owning and articulating her needs and desires.
“There’s also the very straightforward confidence you get from being treated like someone’s sex toy,” she adds. “Being able to turn someone else on in a very primal and objective sense...feels great.”

It's good to know that the future leaders of our country understand games of power in and out of the bedroom. I feel a little bit better about our country's future right now . . . seriously!

A Wink and a Smile, the art of Burlesque dancing. Movie review

A Wink and a Smile is a 2008 documentary about the art of Burlesque dancing by filmmaker Diedre Allen Timmons. Centering the film on Miss Indigo Blue's "Burlesque 101 Class" at the Academy of Burlesque in Seattle, Timmons follows a class of ten women of all ages and sizes as they progress through the six-week class and learn about themselves while practicing striptease and burlesque, their final dissertation being a group performance at a local club.

I have long been enchanted with belly dancing and love the eccentric and elaborate costuming, so it should not be a surprise to see many similarities and thus A Wink and a Smile held me spellbound and wishing I could learn such an art with Indigo Blue herself.  I am also a flirt-addict internally, but too shy to ever allow it to show.  Ironically I do love the stage, having been a musician. I can dream though . . .

Here's the film's trailer so you can get a taste for yourself . . .



It was great fun watching the various lady-students improve in their burlesque abilities as the movie progressed. Below is the first page of  her site

All the Dirty Details

Comic Queen of the New Burlesque Dancer, Teacher and Strip-Tease Artiste

It could be the elephant trunk attached to her crotch, or the dozens of blown up latex gloves surrounding her torso, but you just know that sultry bombshell on stage isn't your uncle's burlesque dancer. She's Miss Indigo Blue -- and get ready, because she's one comely coquette that will leave you panting for more.

Miss Indigo Blue is also the President and Chief Twirling Officer of TwirlyGirl.net, creating exquisite pasties for discriminating nipples, and the founder and Headmistress of the Academy of Burlesque in Seattle. She has teaches Tassel Twirling and Teasing techniques in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, London and Seattle. Miss Indigo Blue is based in Seattle, WA.

Comic Queen of the New Burlesque Dancer, Teacher and Strip-Tease Artiste
Sexy, funny, irreverent and ingeniously clever, Miss Indigo Blue flirts with the edgy, exotic and erotic fringes of burlesque. Evoking the elegant tease of legend Gypsy Rose Lee, and inspired by the brilliant comic wit of Whitney Biennial recipient Julie Atlas Muz, Miss Indigo is more than just a great practitioner of the ol' bump and grind; she enlivens her performances with a heady blend of brainy and bawdy that makes audience's mouths water, as their minds whirl.
For the last ten years , this “nouveau burlesque” entertainer has titillated crowds across the country and in Europe with her wild tassel-twirling techniques and smart, sexy, and funny skits. With a strong dance and theater background and extensive experience as a stripper, Miss Indigo Blue brings sensuality, sexuality, eroticism, and humor to her carefully crafted routines. Miss Indigo is known for her creative and hilarious surprises, erotic dance skills, detailed and authentic retro 1930’s-1960’s costuming, and naughty reformulations of favorite characters like Holly Golightly and Wonder Woman.
"Miss Indigo Blue flirts with the edgy exotic and erotic fringes of burlesque..."
Miss Indigo has performed across the globe including with the Twisted Clits in Amsterdam, Va Va Voom Room in New York and San Francisco, Gurlesque Burlesque in Chicago, Burlesque As It Was in Denver, Kit Kat Follies in Los Angeles, and BurlyQ in London. Seattle's burlesque stalwart, Miss Indigo is a three-time award-winner at the annual Miss Exotic World competition, and currently holds the First Runner Up title from the Jenny Lee Tassel Twirling. Miss Indigo founded BurlyQ Queer Cabaret in 2002, which now has outcroppings in New York and London. Miss Indigo currently performs as a soloist *and* with the Emerald City All-Stars and the Atomic Bombshells, to be one of the most sought-after performers in the Northwest.

still from the movie where Indigo Blue plays with her fan

I very much enjoyed this film and will be watching for others that might be similar.  In the meantime I want to watch it again. If our readers are aware of other great films, or resources. . please . .  let us know.

Available on NetFlix.
her website is  Miss Indigo Blue 

While researching the film and Indigo Blue herself I did run across a brief news documentary about the Burlesque School there in Seattle, since that's the subject of A Wink and a Smile, I've included that video here as well

Serafina's Saturday Evening Caning

Photo taken by Master Samadhi

Many of our readers have been waiting patiently for my caning to take place. We have both been under the weather so it had been post-poned, and then post-poned some more. . . but the day did finally arrive. . .and  . . .I survived it!!

Let me begin by stating that I am not inclined to embrace pain. But I do like sensation, Master informs me that in the end they are one and the same.  . .  OKaay . . . . my response is I still don't want pain.

Master is very skilled in controlling every stroke and it was knowing he has those skills and his promise of never abusing my trust in him that even allowed me to submit to the caning. I still feared it deeply.

Immediately after arriving home Thursday night after work, Master placed wrist and ankle cuffs on me to remain on for the entire weekend or at least until after the canning had taken place. Master actually began on Friday by making sweet sweet love to me, but did not let me cum. NO! he just kept taking me right to the edge, and then he'd back off. Master came very hard and left me in a mess to sleep. He told me it was a warm-up for the caning in store for the next evening. Eventually I drifted off.

I had anticipated the caning. . dreading it at times, . . but looking forward to putting it behind me. Literally! Master had me lie face down across the bed. I was tense so I tried to remain calm and relax. He laid the cane on my skin where I felt it's cool smoothness, and he let it glide over his target area. My thought at that moment was I wished he had place a blindfold over, but I didn't want to ask.

I waited. Finally came the first strike, and stingy test one I said was about a 5. "Perfect" he said and delivered the first real one. It was a 8 and a half. It left a clear mark. I really wasn't sure I could go through with it, but I gritted my teeth and asked him to continue. After the next 2 I was really struggling to keep my composure and Master said just 2 more on that cheek. He would trace the lines gently with his finger, but to me it felt like my ass was on fire.

I have been severely, physically abused. This was nothing like the abuse. Master was deliberate and gentle and made a huge fuss about his handiwork and admiring it and encouraging me all the while. I wanted to have him continue, now not just to get it over but to honor him. After it was over I continued to stay in position and Master took a few pictures. When it was over I was wet and ready. . and the rest, as they say, is history.

It was worth it, and although it may never be my favorite play,  I would play that way again.

EDIT by Michael - My Serafina took her caning beautifully.  I limited the caning to 10 strong solid strikes across both cheeks - 5 struck from the right side and 5 from the left.  I used my Deluxe Rattan Cane from Adam and Gillian in standard diameter. (pictured above)  Here's the manufacturer's description of this particular cane.

   Carefully selected real rattan cane is steamed, stretched and then completely submerged in a linseed oil compound for several weeks, dried and varnished to achieve this look and performance. We think it's worth every minute!

    This method enables the oil to fill the capillaries of the rattan, making The DeLuxe Cane denser, more flexible and less likely to break than an ordinary rattan punishment cane. And the feel? -- Iit has to be experienced to be appreciated! The DeLuxe Cane raises the ordinary rattan cane to a new level of elegance and performance.

   Each DeLuxe Cane is shipped with a unique protective carrying and storage scabbard, at no additional cost.

   Only our Modern Handle is offered with this cane. There is more than meets the eye to this handle design. An internal double-helix of nylon paracord strengthens and stabilizes the cane's performance while providing a comfortable and slip-free grip.   Available in a wide choice of colors and combos.

Samadhi playspace for caning

It is a beautiful implement of instruction.
For the caning, Serafina was laid out flat across a mattress which is on the floor of our current play space.  Leather cuffs on her wrists were locked together and then locked down a wooden suspension frame at floor level.
Serafina was at least a little anxious before her caning, but she held up wonderfully.  I very much like to take my time when delivering a caning, I do love tracing the welts with a fingertip, or even tracing the edge of a fingernail along the welt (I think this is the technique I was using to deliver the sensation she described as her ass being on fire!) 

Ivy League Goes BDSM

Charley Ferrer (center) heads a BDSM Panel at Yale University
Photo by Vivienne Jiao Zhang from Yale Daily News.

While perusing the news for articles of interest today, I came across a  fascinating read from the august institution of the Yale Daily News, where I learned that sexologist Charley Ferrer was recently joined by two representatives of the NCSF (National Coalition for Sexual Freedom) for a panel discussion at Yale University on issues relating to BDSM.

The topics touched upon wouldn't be earth shattering for anyone who already reads this blog, nothing really for our readers to learn.  But, it was basic good information about BDSM practitioners and the BDSM community, and it was being shared on an Ivy League Campus.

Once, close to two decades ago, a much younger version of myself postulated in a conversation with a still younger version of my fiend Cherub, that I felt as though the BDSM community was about 20 or 25 years behind the gay and lesbian community in our struggle for acceptance.

I don't know if there's still a gap or not, I'd guess that there is, but I can't say for sure.  My existence for the last few years (because of responsibilities as a caregiver) has been an insular one.


I do find it a heartening story, with quotes like the following:

1. BDSM is about “comfort with your own body.” 
2. That people are “all kinky in some way.”
3. BDSM can be part of a healthy relationship.
4. Exploring BDSM can help people become more open to alternative types of sexuality and sex practices.
5. The importance of practicing BDSM safely and maximizing communication between participants.

It's all good news apparently, and it sounds like it'd be much more exciting than the discussions I remember attending in my college days about dusty old works by Edwin Hubble and J. Robert Oppenheimer.

Perhaps we'll even see a day when there's a return of the English Cane to the classroom (excuse me - I've got canes and caning on my mind right now!)  Rather than the professor using a wicked cane on a student for punishment, the role would be reversed, solely for demonstration purpose, of course . . .

When you look back

Many things can change and mostly they do. . .

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Miss Indigo Blue - Goddess of Burlesque

from The Mod Club Theatre - Toronto ON - July 2011


Last night Serafina and I watched A Wink and a Smile, a 2008 documentary about the art of Burlesque dancing.  We enjoyed ourselves greatly!  I've asked Serafina to write a review of the movie for our blog, and I'm thinking the topic of Burlesque will be showing up more frequently.  My slave/wife is seeming rather fascinated with the topic, she was already playing the video that accompanies this post before breakfast this morning!

A Wink and a Smile actually served as the night's early entertainment, the appetizer if you will.  A live show from The Upper Floor served as the main course.  Serafina was feeling a little under the weather, so we didn't "play along" with the party from our own home, as we've been prone to do lately.  But, when all the entertainment was over for the evening we'd managed to save enough energy for some quiet passion in the deep shadows of our bedroom.

All the whips, restraints, floggers, and fetish clothes are the fuel for my fire, but there are times where it's nice to just turn down the lights and make love to your slave/wife.  And isn't that the point of Burlesque for most folks anyway?  They watch the sexy performers and then go home to fuck like bunnies.

We did all that, and Serafina asked permission for every orgasm, just like always, she got to the point of begging a couple of times.  I mean I said it was quiet passion, but I didn't say I'd been slathered in vanilla or anything . . .

Now go watch the video, perhaps even see A Wink and a Smile before the day is done, Miss Indigo Blue is more interesting than anything else I've got to say this morning!

which route?

BDSM is both the the path and the destination (photo of unknown origin)

There are times in life where actual the route to your final destination is more clear than others . . .

Your Significant Other

Sometimes we just wonder. . .

It's good to be here . . . .good to be ALIVE!!

Coming from a generation of folks who hoped we died before we got old, but somehow didn't manage to make the cut, I do have to say that I feel fortunate to have stuck around long enough to witness the current BDSM community in all it's glory.

I often get inspiration from my fellow denizens of the art of electronic communication.  To be honest, there are far more outstanding BDSM blogs and bloggers than I can follow on a regular basis.  That's what one former boss called a "high level problem" - meaning it's a good problem to have.  Better to have more than you know what to do with, than not enough.

It seems there was once a time where it was exceedingly rare to encounter literate individuals living a BDSM lifestyle.  With the profusion of sex bloggers these days, that's not necessarily as true, as the diversity of the BDSM community truly seems to be unparalleled.

It's a very good time to be alive . . .

Serafina adds:

It is a very good time to be alive!!  Yes we could dwell in the mud of long ago and get mired down so much that it could paralyze.  But life is what we choose to make of it.  Although we are surrounded by negative and shocking news, and bombarded by disasters on many levels, we still can choose, and choose we will.

People die, get sick, injured, or suddenly tire of loving.  We sometimes pay a huge price for what other people do.  Sometimes you can do more by "doing" nothing. 

We never watch news anymore.  We might glimpse the most prominent headline from the paper but seldom read the details.  Or we hear the sizzling quips from a newscast that happens to be next after watching Dr OZ because we forgot to turn it off. 

It's not that we are blissfully un-aware of what is going on, but we don't care to know all the speculation and opinion.  We want to focus on what matters most.  Our relationship.  We desire to live without regrets, simply, uncluttered, unfettered.(however we are into Bondage!)  Our goals are not to amass fortunes, and kingdoms, but to live a simple life, indulging in pleasuring our spirit soul and body as long as possible.  In acceptance and tolerance we aspire to live in harmony and find balance.

it's all in the mind - introducing the Photosonix

Most of our readers probably realize that we are a 24/7 D/s or M/s couple, and that we incorporate elements of Tantra into our lifestyle.  That's the simple explanation for our site's name and web address, that we combine spiritual practices from Tantra with BDSM styled activities to create Spiritual BDSM.

Among other things, we are seekers of truth, sensual hedonists, and dedicated "psychonauts" - a term that translates from it's Greek origins to mean "sailors of the mind/soul."  I'm not positive Serafina would describe herself exactly that way, but I certainly feel it's an apt description for both of us.

Tantra and BDSM both lead to altered states of consciousness, probably most familiar as "sub-space" within the BDSM community.  Exploring those states can help bring about peak sexual pleasure, spiritual insight, and cathartic experience, not to mention being extremely intense and enjoyable.

Now, Serafina and I are beginning to explore a technological means to alter our consciousness through a "light and sound" machine produced by a company named Photosonix.  It's something that can also be incorporated into BDSM play, as evidenced by the fact that Mr-S-Leather offers a Photosonix machine along side their electro-sex gear.

Some of the earliest episodes of Wired Pussy also incorporated a Photosonix into BDSM play.  And, I also remember Kaya of Under His Hand reporting on a scene using this machine, although I can't find the exact post this morning.

Altough I'm not sure it's the most apt descriptive phrase, gadgets like the Photosonix are sometimes called "mind machines."  Here's what Wikipedia has to say on the topic:

A mind machine uses pulsing rhythmic sound and/or flashing light to alter the brainwave frequency of the user. Mind machines are said to induce deep states of relaxation, concentration, and in some cases altered states of consciousness that have been compared to those obtained from meditation and shamanic exploration.

As I alluded to before, similar altered states occur with BDSM play, so it seems the Photosonix could be well used as another means to the same end.

We've only been experimenting with this machine for a few days, so we can't give a complete report, or indicate if our experiments in incorporating this machine into our BDSM play has been any kind of success.  I don't want to give an expensive piece of equipment like the Photosonix a simple cursory review, because the machine and it's effects aren't simple themselves.

What I can say is that at least two of the "sleep" mode settings were effective in helping bring relaxation and clarity after I had a long and stressful day last week.   Before the sessions I had been feeling the onset of a migraine headache.  When the session was done, there was no longer any kind of pending headache at all, the nausea that often accompanies a migraine had also disappeared.. After a short 15 or 20 minute session with the Photosonix, I was left feeling mentally alert, but also very calm and relaxed.

If nothing else, this kind of reaction has great promise for me as a dominant, as there are times where the hardest part of getting into the "masterful mindset" is shaking off the cares and concerns of everyday life.  Anybody who's ever suffered from migraines knows, the ability to stop a monster headache in it's tracks is priceless.

I have no idea at all if a Photosonix unit would help other migraine sufferers.  And, I'm fairly certain machines of this sort aren't allowed to make any real medical claims at all, such is the world of government regulation.  What I do know is it's already proven helpful for me, and we've only scratched the surface of discovering what different combinations of light and sound can do to enhance our practice of Spiritual BDSM.

Serafina and I plan to return to this topic in a few weeks with a more complete review, so like they used to say on television, stay tuned for further developments.