prt-1 How To Become a Submissive- if you don't think you are yet

This is a script from a conversation I had with another person on a submissives forum. . Names, etc have been changed.

Dogwood flowers

photo by Serafina

Sent: Wed May 13, 2009 12:29 pm

by Daisy

hi Serafina

thank you for the welcome note. in regard to the parent - child scenario, no i don't have children. i don't roleplay in this regard either, rather i use it as an example as if a child is punished for misbehaving or not following the parents rules, so should a wife be. i know punishment was always a deterrent for me as a child so i feel it should work as an adult. unfortunately, for me my husband does not punish so infractions are more frequent. i'm hopeful that joining this group will help me to be more obedient. i cant seem to locate a place where there are a concrete set of rules to follow.

Daisy

Re: welcome note

Sent: Wed May 13, 2009 5:44 pm

by Serafina

well thanks for pm-ing me I did not expect a private answer. . . You see, I am so opposite of your thinking. That does not mean that either of us is more correct. . . it is simple the way I understand . .let me explain. . .Marriage and relationships are built in an adult world. . . adults even supervise young children's relationships. . . . therefor a spouse would not dare to punish me for any infraction in my world. . .UNLESS it is strictly play. . it smacks of abuse excuse.

I am responsible for ME!

I am not responsible for my partner nor my friends much less acquaintances.. . . and I am pretty sure that no one is going to force you to do anything. . . because in the end YOU! . . my dear are going to take responsibility for YOU! 

It is a leg in your journey called LIFE and learning to be submissive and and in that the submissive one holds all the power.

I wish you the very best and most interesting journey.

Your friend,

Serafina

PS you can pm me anytime if you wish

Re: welcome note

Sent: Tue May 19, 2009 7:05 am

by Daisy

Serafina

thank you for your insight. i actually agree with you completely, however how does one reach this level of submission?

Daisy

Sent: Wed May 19, 2009

by Serafina

That is the Million dollar question with a 5 cent answer. . .

You become completely responsible and be accountable to yourself, for yourself, by yourself. . . .how? . . .by practicing being the very best Daisy you can be. . .by being upright and trust-worthy in every aspect. . .

of course some areas will require a lot of work and some areas may come naturally. . . let go of what is not important, and decide who/what really matters. . . don't forget to allow time for play and have fun, but realize even that is a type of work, or it can be, because some of us don't know how to relax.

        It sometimes will not be easy. . . because breaking old habits can be       difficult. .  . but if you can refocus on a new one and earn it for yourself, you begin to feel more accomplished and as you feel fulfilled, you begin to reach towards more of the same. . .

Now . . .when you are on such a journey you become more desirable and attract one of 2 kinds of people. . . one you need to avoid because they see in you someone to rescue them from their own responsibility, and they may have a strong need to assist/enable them, or and this is what we are looking for, someone who who is like-minded and wants someone to mirror and complete them and you both.

For them submission is simple really. . . it is a meshing and dance that allows each of you your unique and separate identity by allowing him to take the role of leadership within which you are each others primary concern and well-being.

Submission is very much like the old Swiss-made clocks. Inside you will see many little gears and springs, each doing the job they are designed to do. . . imagine what would happen is one of those parts were to get selfish and demand that other parts pick up and take over for them one day, because they just wanted to, or they thought they were far superior to all the rest?. . . Even a King Pin holding it all together is nothing if he doesn't do his part . . or if he has nothing to hold together!

It will take you all the rest of your life to work it out. . . because as soon as you have something under your ownership another project will appear. . . not that you even work on one thing at any time. . . but you certainly have the ability to work on specifics.

So there ya go. . . you make the rules . . . or you can abdicate your power and let someone else hold you to the fire who is likely another person with dysfunctional behavior.. . we all have choices. . .and we better make them clearly.

I am aware that not everyone agrees with me, but I have yet to see where people SAY they have a good relationship and see it last any length of time and not crumble apart with deep resentment when personal needs and desires are not in tandem.

Hang in there,

Serafina

Re: on submission

Sent: Tue May 19, 2009 10:45 am

From: Daisy

To: Serafina

thank you for that response....it made me smile. you sound like a very nice, intelligent person. if you don't mind, let me ask you this one question: in regard to your response to me that i am accountable to me....if my husband has a series of rules or guidelines in the home{which i have to admit are for the best} but it's just "easier" for me to "do it another way" when i can get away with it.... is that not being accountable to myself? if that sounds confusing, let's say that it's easier for me to leave the door open if i have several packages to carry in, he thinks the door should be shut and reopened as needed. although i know the guidelines he wishes i would follow are very valid, is trying to "get away with it being less than upright and trustworthy? i think you're going to say of course its dishonest...

thank you so much

Daisy

Well I didn't have an answer for Daisy then . . I sure hope Daisy is still on her personal journey.  My reply today might be:

Dear Daisy

Perhaps another good word for submission is surrender. 

Complete and perfect obedience is key, because that establishes that you are trustworthy.  Your method may even be better than your master, but unless you have discussed changes or the possibility beforehand you'd be best fulfilling all your word.  Yes you could "get away" with stuff that is less than earth-shattering, but one day you will slip-up and have to account for that.  And anyway do you really want a conscience that knows you are less than compliant?

  If you completely disagree with an edict, you need to let him know, and perhaps you can reach another compromise.  

I wish you wisdom in all your relations,

Your friend,

Serafina

When you look back

Sliding into Submission - working it out in real life

photo by Serafina

I am submissive. . there is no doubt about it.  Unfortunately, there are times in life that one has to behave less submissively:  many times actually.  And, when we are comfortable in our own home, and when is the time and space for us to wrap ourselves in our D/s world.  I wish to remain submerged into our private world.  Sometimes, however, in less playful moments and routines demand attention, I can sometimes forget to check in with Master to discover what is his direction.

We both have an evening and night-time medications to take.  The night-time ones are of course designed to assist in sleeping. Without thinking on one less than playful evening, I automatically set out the night meds  at the normal time.  Master took them, because we trust each other, but then realized that having done so would curtail any hope of any further real play, and immediately I realized it as well.  But it was too late.  Neither of us was feeling the best, and while we take that into consideration we try not to stop, but redirect to milder fun. 

Well, the fun was dun, and I was feeling very regretful. I realized that somehow I was forgetting to stay in  my role of submissive, because there was not always a clear defining line, or cross-over.  It is important in our relationship for me to take initiative  on a number of things that keeps the household, and us running as we should.  But sometimes it is also necessary to just wait, or ask.  Master was unhappy with me and he mumbled about somehow we were not communicating as well as we ought.

I tried to fall asleep now, but my mind was whirling as I heard Masters breathing turn into deep sleep.  I was struggling to find a way to stay in pure submissive form.  I am always and foremost submissive but I consider the work-week/daytime not as formal and thus not as purely submissive.  Being pure submissive is my goal for weekends and all other such times like holidays, and even week-day evenings.  It occurred to me that maybe we needed to establish a ritual that would deliberately delineate work and public world from our own sacred space.

Our home is a dedicated sacred place set aside for enjoying one another in play and love. Every morning I am in his shadow  trying to ensure all details are attended to.  I get our AM meds, Make my tea and get his beverage, make breakfast and run a tub for a bath.  While he is bathing, I sometimes put a towel in the dryer so it is nice and warm when he gets out.  I remember once in a hospital stay a kind nurse put a warmed blanket over me and I never forgot how that feels!  So I do things like that for Master.

I am always at the door to see Master off to work, unless I am going also, and I do try to watch for him and greet him when he arrives back.  If I have been working on a home project, I attempt to arrange to either have a stop-point or be finished.  Most times I can get it tack-on, but sometimes I have to request a extra time to close up shop so to speak, but only if he surprises me in arriving home early.

Anyway, Master forwarded to me a series of articles that helps establish certain routines exactly for the reasons I have just detailed here and he had been thinking along the same lines and we had not taken time to discuss the issue further.  It happens frequently that way. . one of us will act on what the other is thinking often even before we had and conversation about it.  It actually surprises us when either of us is on a different page anymore.

In the next essay I would like to initiate a small routine that will delineate outside or public submission from our sanctuary and deeply devoted slavish submission that deepens our relationship. . . . Meanwhile as we are creating our routine and protocol, I wonder . .  do you have any protocols you have worked out , and how they came about, and also how well are they working for you?

. . . . to be continued. . . ..

Many things can change and mostly they do. . .

Please answer with a comment!

Short or long all comments are welcome, and will not be moderated unless they are clearly spam.

Your Significant Other

Sometimes we just wonder. . .

When You Have Strayed From A Path. . . Return!

Life is a Journey

Life, and the lifestyle one chooses is a journey. . not an arrival. It is a destination, a path with many trails that can lead you entirely off-course or even to an abrupt end. It is a daily, hourly and moment by moment opportunity to keep to the path, or divert. And, we can do all this without even being aware at a conscious level, but the results will show if you are on the path or if you have wandered from your intent. Unless, that is you have already decided that the path you were committing to was not the path you really desire and it is acceptable to change your mind. But remember. . you need to be aware; and also communicate.

We all know that actions speak louder than words. Quite often we are trying to convince ourselves that we are on our path of choice, all the while we begin to adjust to complacency and neglect to pay close attention to the small details. And soon a small discrepancy becomes an ever increasing distance from the original path. This concept is crudely demonstrated in the following drawing: 

From a Christian perspective all of the natural speaks of the spiritual. That is; we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Thus whatever we desire to become will show up naturally. The problem is we don't come by it naturally! No- we have a lot of learning to do, and there will be mistakes and omissions all along the way.

The recognized writings in the accepted scriptures from 2 Timothy 2:15 instructs “Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

Brendan Perry of Dead Can Dance - American Dreaming puts it this way . . . “I need my conscience to keep watch over me To protect me from myself So I can wear honesty like a crown on my head When I walk into the promised land”

Mindfulness

From wikipdeia
“Mindfulness (Pali: sati, Sanskrit: smṛti; also translated as awareness) is a spiritual faculty (indriya) that is considered to be of great importance in the path to enlightenment according to the teaching of the Buddha. It is one of the seven factors of enlightenment. "Correct" or "right" mindfulness (Pali: sammā-sati, Sanskrit samyak-smṛti) is the seventh element of the noble eightfold path.
Enlightenment (bodhi) is a state of being in which greed, hatred and delusion (Pali: moha) have been overcome, abandoned and are absent from the mind. Mindfulness, which, among other things, is an attentive awareness of the reality of things (especially of the present moment) is an antidote to delusion and is considered as such a 'power' (Pali: bala). This faculty becomes a power in particular when it is coupled with clear comprehension of whatever is taking place”.

The Buddha advocated that “One should establish mindfulness (satipatthana) in one's day-to-day life maintaining as much as possible a calm awareness of one's bodily functions, sensations (feelings), objects of consciousness (thoughts and perceptions), and consciousness itself. The practice of mindfulness supports analysis resulting in the arising of wisdom”.

“The true nature of the mind,” says the Dalai Lama, “is beyond any concept or physical form, and therefore it cannot be studied solely by third-person, scientific methods. Mind must also be studied through a rigorous observation of our own subjective experience”.

According to Gandhi, “Inner transformation is the key to change”.

Being mindful is a serious discipline, and to take it seriously will have long-lasting and fruitful events that accelerate your chosen path. It is an extreme awareness of what your habits are telling about you. If one is not happy about the message that is perceived by trusted loved ones, then one must make a conscience decision to make corrections, and be ever more aware of the consequence of any actions.

In Conclusion

There is no conclusion until death robs one of any further endeavors or actions. It is a life-long consignment. However it is a choice one makes every moment of every day. It works very well when you have a trusting, and trust-worthy companion. Being mindful may not be easy, but it need not be difficult. Know that if mistakes are made, then there are ways to correct.

Too many people wander about aimlessly in life and when it is over they wonder what happened. For me in my personal life I have made a commitment to Submission. I have decided to become a Slave to that commitment. The commitment is to my Master Michael Samadhi. Near the end of my journey I only need to hear “Well done, you are good and faithful Servant.”  I wish my life to demonstrate my spoken intentions, and to leave no doubt to anyone who observes me.
  
Respectfully submitted
Serafina