Dunno, but mouse thinks its fear that keeps most from achieving their dreams, and that makes them unhappy. It takes a lot of courage to strike out on a new path, especially if it's not very well traveled. Now this can mean starting a new vocation, returning to college, or sometimes just leaving behind the very familiar for something different and unfamiliar. Fear can work to keep us stagnant and unfulfilled. Fear can often keep people from seeing options because they're too hard, or require a lot of personal sacrifice or hard work.
Not saying that fear doesn't serve a purpose in our lives, it clearly does. One of the biggest problems is overcoming the fears we've built up and truly just accepting life, like shit happens.
I am most unhappy when I think that Master is not pleased with me, or if it feels like I am being blamed for something.. . OK. .I totally know that I am far from perfect, and I accept responsibility when I am aware that it is or even if it might be my fault. And I am usually quick to own up and attempt to correct whatever it is immediately in so far as is possible. I even feel unworthy to look him in the eye nor to be in close proximity if it feels like he is angry or displeased with me. My fear then is rejection, possibly because I have been rejected by so many I thought mattered in the past. Master is very patient though and is working with me. Almost always the frustration arises from some not understanding or hearing appropriately.
Serafina - just know that I'll never reject you, I love you for who you are, slave or not, I've always loved you and I always will. You've seen my devotion to individuals who didn't deserve, imagine what I'm capable of for the woman I waited my whole life to meet!
I don't expect you to be perfect darling, so you shouldn't expect it of yourself. I know that advice is easier said than done, as I myself haven't given up striving for perfection, as it seems to me anything less is just "settling" . . .
And Serafina, just remember that most common frustration you see in my demeanor is disappointment in myself - Why hadn't I foreseen this? What did I do wrong to bring this about? Why didn't I give better direction?
I guess I do literally buy into the theory that all faults have their source in the Master, all responsibility lies with the dominant after all, so it seems that "fault" is something the Master has pre-purchased with his own coin . . .
as for the actual question . . .
It's more likely that I personally experience anxiety rather than true unhappiness . . . I worry at times about money and work . . . I've sustained many things which might make others embittered but yet I'm not consumed by cynicism (usually) . . . why?
I've seen a lot more unhappiness than I've experienced . . . and that's actually a choice I make . . .
when I look around I always see people with more . . . and I've always seen people with less . . . doesn't matter what the "more" or the "less" is . . .
so unhappiness can be something that's created by the self - it can come from within . . .
Lack of self-awareness - over the years, as I have come to understand myself and my drivers, I learned to accept everything else as part of the plan. So while there may be some brief moments of unhappiness, the bigger picture eventually comes to the forefront and settles things out for me. But in the short term? Failing to meet expectations makes me very, very unhappy (whether they are my own, or someone I care about).
Dunno, but mouse thinks its fear that keeps most from achieving their dreams, and that makes them unhappy. It takes a lot of courage to strike out on a new path, especially if it's not very well traveled. Now this can mean starting a new vocation, returning to college, or sometimes just leaving behind the very familiar for something different and unfamiliar. Fear can work to keep us stagnant and unfulfilled. Fear can often keep people from seeing options because they're too hard, or require a lot of personal sacrifice or hard work.
ReplyDeleteNot saying that fear doesn't serve a purpose in our lives, it clearly does. One of the biggest problems is overcoming the fears we've built up and truly just accepting life, like shit happens.
Hugs,
mouse
I am most unhappy when I think that Master is not pleased with me, or if it feels like I am being blamed for something.. . OK. .I totally know that I am far from perfect, and I accept responsibility when I am aware that it is or even if it might be my fault. And I am usually quick to own up and attempt to correct whatever it is immediately in so far as is possible. I even feel unworthy to look him in the eye nor to be in close proximity if it feels like he is angry or displeased with me. My fear then is rejection, possibly because I have been rejected by so many I thought mattered in the past. Master is very patient though and is working with me. Almost always the frustration arises from some not understanding or hearing appropriately.
ReplyDeleteSerafina - just know that I'll never reject you, I love you for who you are, slave or not, I've always loved you and I always will. You've seen my devotion to individuals who didn't deserve, imagine what I'm capable of for the woman I waited my whole life to meet!
ReplyDeleteI don't expect you to be perfect darling, so you shouldn't expect it of yourself. I know that advice is easier said than done, as I myself haven't given up striving for perfection, as it seems to me anything less is just "settling" . . .
And Serafina, just remember that most common frustration you see in my demeanor is disappointment in myself - Why hadn't I foreseen this? What did I do wrong to bring this about? Why didn't I give better direction?
I guess I do literally buy into the theory that all faults have their source in the Master, all responsibility lies with the dominant after all, so it seems that "fault" is something the Master has pre-purchased with his own coin . . .
as for the actual question . . .
It's more likely that I personally experience anxiety rather than true unhappiness . . . I worry at times about money and work . . . I've sustained many things which might make others embittered but yet I'm not consumed by cynicism (usually) . . . why?
I've seen a lot more unhappiness than I've experienced . . . and that's actually a choice I make . . .
when I look around I always see people with more . . . and I've always seen people with less . . . doesn't matter what the "more" or the "less" is . . .
so unhappiness can be something that's created by the self - it can come from within . . .
Lack of self-awareness - over the years, as I have come to understand myself and my drivers, I learned to accept everything else as part of the plan. So while there may be some brief moments of unhappiness, the bigger picture eventually comes to the forefront and settles things out for me. But in the short term? Failing to meet expectations makes me very, very unhappy (whether they are my own, or someone I care about).
ReplyDelete