Toy Review - Icicles #12

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The Collar I Wear

In a relationship often symbols matter.  

Most people seal their significance with a wedding ceremony where the couple exchange rings, as they promise to stay faithful and true to each other.

Symbols and vows can certainly be made in complete privacy.  Some even live together all their life without the ritual wedding in harmony because of their understanding with one another.

A rite is an established form of religious or otherwise solemn practice.  A ritual is a prescribed form for carrying out the ceremonies associated with such a practice (both from Latinritus 'ceremony')  There are many reasons for creating such. . it may be that their children will have a single name, or it could be that personal and spiritual convictions dictate compliance.

It is also a public "brand" that states "I am not available, I am committed to another"

In our own path Master Samadhi and I were in a relationship for a time before any formal display could be considered.. Our circumstances were such that they disallowed  a wedding.  Once we had removed the obstacles and overcame our barricades, we were married by a Unitarian minister and we sealed our vows with matching white gold rings. And, we honour each other  and we wear them faithfully every day and night.

Master later asked me to help find a collar that would be suitable to wear everyday.  After much searching we settled on this 4mm one from Wyred Slave . the description from their own site follows.  You can see here that there is a screw locking mechanism that is set by a special allen key.

Wraith Band Collars are one of our simplest, yet most effective designs and are hand crafted from fine stainless steel rope which complements the polished aluminium Wraith Lock to create a stunning yet individual item of jewellery.
The bands are available in a selection of guages/widths from fine 4mm (approx) through to a heavy looking, yet light to wear, 9mm.

It is simple, easy to wear and does not interfere with anything.  it is accessible able and Master Samadhi also purchased the ring attachment from them.  There is a minor draw-back in that it does catch and pull out about 20 or so hairs a day, but otherwise  is easy to clean in the bath or shower, I take time to dry the collar completely.  Sometimes I will give it a swipe with rubbing alcohol to ensure no bacteria build-up occurs and to prevent problems with my skin as it is fairly sensitive.

Master placed it on me with a personal and private ceremony.  I had to cross an international border, so not needing or wanting any attention from authorities Master and I reluctantly removed it for a time.

I like the fact that one can add adapted accessories: only with Master's permission, of course!  I found this piece which I think is adorable, and meaningful.

Master Michael says --  I love the collar I've placed around Serafina's neck to display my ownership, to mark her as my property, my slave/wife.
Finding an appropriate collar that is permanent but still dressy enough for every day wear in the vanilla world was not a simple task.  Fortunately, the folks at Wyred Slave had the same problem, and saw a business opportunity.
The collar, as you can see for yourself, is very pretty.  The O-ring feature can be added or removed at will.  It's addition really dresses the piece up, to make sure the collar's intent is perfectly clear - slave collar!  As I stated in my prior review of Wyred Slave as a vendor, their customer service is outstanding and very personable.
The only downside we've discovered in several months of wear is the issue of hair being caught in the weave of the collar.  But, there are a myriad of solutions for such a minor issue.
For instance, I know that there's a gentleman in Seattle named Twisted Monk who has a fetish for shaving women's heads, he's personable, attractive, and he's a sex worker.  If we are ever travelling towards the Pacific Northwest, I might have to see if his fetish can resolve my wife's problem.  What fun that would be to watch!
Here's Master's take on the slave collar from Wyred Slave condensed to 5 words:

1. beautiful

1. delicious

1. versatile

1. captivating

1. enslaved

That says it all!

Yes, Master, I bet we could work something out. . . LOL

 Your Serafina!



DISCLAIMER - SpiritualBDSM.com and it's owners (Michael Samadhi and Serafina Samadhi) are not associated or affiliated with Wyred Slave or wyredslave.com in any manner.  We have not received any compensation or consideration in return for this posting.  


All images within this post are property of SpiritualBDSM.com - © 2011 Serafina Samadhi.

Fisting Day

I'm told that tomorrow, Friday October 21, 2011 is proposed as International Fisting Day, according to Jiz Lee and Courtney Trouble.

I hadn't been aware of it's apparent absence in the current crop of adult movies, apparently I don't watch enough porn.  I know there are old VHS movies in my collection from the 1990's that show fisting, I guess the standards might have been different back in the days before DVD.

My of favorite fisting tape of all is one that's only been screened to a select handful of individuals. It was made made for me personally by a close lesbian friend and my ex-wife specifically to record the event  for my pleasure, it was my ex's first fisting.

Here are some helpful fisting and Fisting Day links (shamelessly nicked from Jiz Lee's post on this topic)

Fisting Day Tumblr – Follow and Repost!
Facebook Fisting Day Event – Attend and Invite Others!
How to Fist – a Primer if you want to celebrate literally
Courtney Trouble’s Fisting Day Post
Jiz Lee's Fisting Day Post
Twitter – Follow @JizLee & @CourtneyTrouble Hashtag is #fisting

Jute Rope from NaturallyTwisted.com

looks like a delicious blonde . . . two lengths of Naturally Twisted Co's handmade traditional Shibari rope

Looking for Jute rope to use in traditional style Shibari / Kinbaku?

You could certainly do well by yourself with a purchase from Australia's Naturally Twisted.

As I stated in a previous post here at SpiritualBDSM.com, a few months back I made the decision to discard all of the rope I'd used for bondage over the last two decades.  It wasn't a huge sacrifice, for the most part it was just cotton clothesline and braided nylon rope from a local big box hardware store.

I wanted to move away from cheap hardware store rope and get into better handling and more sensual, not to mention more authentic, natural fiber rope for my explorations of Shibari.  With that in mind, I purchased a 10 rope "starter pack" of handmade jute rope from NaturallyTwisted.co. 

closeup of our hand conditioned jute rope - purchased from NaturallyTwisted.co

Anyone who's visited us here at SpiritualBDSM.com probably already knows that Serafina and I live in the Upper Mississippi River Valley.  So, it may strike our readers as strange that we purchased rope from Australia.  

Yes, shipping charges for international packages are very expensive.  But, when priced against the Shibari Kit of Osada Steve jute rope from (located here in the USA) kinkyropes.com, NaturallyTwisted.co's jute was a better value, even with the exorbitant postal charges applied for packages shipped from Australia to the US.

For the relatively modest cost of $130 (AUS) I was able to purchase ten separate lengths of Naturally Twisted's hand made and conditioned jute rope, each 7.5 meters in length.  Here's Naturally Twisted's own description of their rope:

6mm Handmade Jute - Natural
A 6mm tightly twisted jute rope that provides a soft feel without coming apart, suitable for both floor work and suspension. Tested to over 200kg per strand.
These ropes are hand made in Australia from the highest quality jute. The rope is springy and lovely to the touch.
A traditional Shibari/kinbaku rope or asanawa, finished by hand to produce an exceptional quality product.
All lengths are 7.5m

The description is quite accurate.  Hebari (the individual behind Naturally Twisted) makes beautiful rope that is both soft and strong.  I gave a single strand of the rope the "jerk test" - using all of my weight (240 lbs) in a quick dynamic pull hard enough to lift my feet off the ground.  No problem.

There is a very strong and distinct aroma associated with this rope.  It smells like jute rope!  If you know the smell it's unmistakable.  If you don't know the aroma, you probably need to experience it for yourself, it's difficult to describe.  It's earthy and woody for sure, but there's a strong undertone that just screams JUTE to me, I'm sorry but that's the best I can do.

As would be expected from a traditional rope made for Shibari, this rope holds knots very well.  It's handling characteristics are very similar to the 6mm Twisted Monk hemp rope that also inhabits my rope bag.  It's noticeably lighter in weight than TM's hemp offering, and perhaps a touch narrower in diameter.

One of these days I'm going to grab an affordable micrometer so I can give an exact diameter to rope and other toys that need precision measuring.  Until that happens, I'll eyeball my various rope and rope samples, then estimate (guess) that this jute rope is somewhere between 5-6mm.

A tender skinned submissive or bondagette might look at the detail picture we've included with this post and worry that this rope might feel rough or itchy.  That's simply not the case.  The hand conditioning that Hebari gives this rope makes it soft and quite scratch free.  Very nice!

detail of jute rope we purchased from Naturally Twisted Co

While I've very much enjoyed describing Naturally Twisted's rope, not to mention it is very much a pleasure to use, I don't consider myself qualified to truly judge this rope against other similar traditional jute shibari ropes.  This is the only jute in my toybag, it's the only jute in my experience.

It certainly is a premium handmade and hand conditioned jute rope that is a pleasure to use to bind my Serafina.  I'm told it's quite sensual to be bound with this rope.  I used alternating lengths of this and Monk's hemp rope in a chest tie on a blindfolded Serafina, she was unable to feel a difference between the two premium hand conditioned bondage ropes.

This is great rope, I love it.  As I continue to learn the art of Shibari / Kinbaku, I'm certain this rope will continue to have a special place in my ropebag, not to mention in my heart.  I already love it!

DISCLAIMER - SpiritualBDSM.com and it's owners (Michael Samadhi and Serafina Samadhi) are not associated or affiliated with Naturally Twisted Co or NaturallyTwisted.co in any manner.  We have not received any compensation or consideration in return for this posting.  


All images within this post are property of SpiritualBDSM.com - © 2011 Serafina Samadhi.

Affiliation Disclaimer Disclosure and the "Right to Know"

Disclosures and disclaimers aren't sexy or fun, but they are necessary to give readers a true sense of whether a reviewer might have divided loyalties.  Even if you don't read much further in the text of this blog at least stay long enough to read the first three paragraphs that begin this post.  They are the primary message.

Most, but certainly not all, sex bloggers who do reviews on their site enter into some kind of affiliation with a company producing or marketing adult toys.  Some enter into a number of such relationships with various toy makers and vendors.  If we enter into any affiliate relationship with a company, it will be disclosed here in the body of the blog.

When we do informational reviews for products or vendors, we will clearly state at the end of the review whether we have any affiliation, or would receive any compensation /consideration in return for the review.  If we receive any free products to test, we will clearly state in a disclaimer at the end of the post that we received the item for review and did not purchase it for ourselves.

We haven't yet entered into any affiliate relationships ourselves, and we are currently debating if that direction is a good fit for us here at SpiritualBDSM.com.

You see, just as musicians have influences upon which they build their own style, writers also have influences and authors who have inspired or instructed.  While I can't say that my personal writing style was influenced by a sex blogger, or any other online source, the actual decision to become sex bloggers ourselves was inspired by a good number of today's blogs, as well as a couple I've followed but are no longer active.

Some of our favorite blogs are affiliated with one or more companies, and in some cases they might even derive a modest income from their blog.  Other's are clearly non-commercial with nary an advertisement or affiliation to be found.  We read both kind of blogs and enjoy them all.

 I've written professionally, I earned my living with my communications skills for the last 25 years.  As such it wouldn't be unreasonable for Serafina and I to seek affiliates and advertisers to garner some token compensation for our efforts here.  One example of a non fetish blog that I believe does this well is KenRockwell.com.  Ken's a professional photographer who supports himself with his website, not by having a pay site, but with a few select affiliations and with reader's donations.

On the other hand, about 5 years ago Serafina and I had a non-fetish related blog (that drew 1000 to 1500 unique visits per day) and we never once accepted any advertisement nor a single affiliation arrangement.  For legal reasons I let the domain and site expire while going thru a divorce - on principle I killed my effort rather than let it be taken over and monetized by my former spouse.

So, we are in progress of making decisions regarding affiliation with companies serving the adult toy and BDSM toy markets.  If we do choose to become affiliates of any vendor or manufacturer, we will announce it here among the blog's posts, not hidden away on some page that is rarely noticed.  

It is all based on our belief that readers have the right to know!

When You Have Strayed From A Path. . . Return!

Life is a Journey

Life, and the lifestyle one chooses is a journey. . not an arrival. It is a destination, a path with many trails that can lead you entirely off-course or even to an abrupt end. It is a daily, hourly and moment by moment opportunity to keep to the path, or divert. And, we can do all this without even being aware at a conscious level, but the results will show if you are on the path or if you have wandered from your intent. Unless, that is you have already decided that the path you were committing to was not the path you really desire and it is acceptable to change your mind. But remember. . you need to be aware; and also communicate.

We all know that actions speak louder than words. Quite often we are trying to convince ourselves that we are on our path of choice, all the while we begin to adjust to complacency and neglect to pay close attention to the small details. And soon a small discrepancy becomes an ever increasing distance from the original path. This concept is crudely demonstrated in the following drawing: 

From a Christian perspective all of the natural speaks of the spiritual. That is; we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Thus whatever we desire to become will show up naturally. The problem is we don't come by it naturally! No- we have a lot of learning to do, and there will be mistakes and omissions all along the way.

The recognized writings in the accepted scriptures from 2 Timothy 2:15 instructs “Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

Brendan Perry of Dead Can Dance - American Dreaming puts it this way . . . “I need my conscience to keep watch over me To protect me from myself So I can wear honesty like a crown on my head When I walk into the promised land”

Mindfulness

From wikipdeia
“Mindfulness (Pali: sati, Sanskrit: smṛti; also translated as awareness) is a spiritual faculty (indriya) that is considered to be of great importance in the path to enlightenment according to the teaching of the Buddha. It is one of the seven factors of enlightenment. "Correct" or "right" mindfulness (Pali: sammā-sati, Sanskrit samyak-smṛti) is the seventh element of the noble eightfold path.
Enlightenment (bodhi) is a state of being in which greed, hatred and delusion (Pali: moha) have been overcome, abandoned and are absent from the mind. Mindfulness, which, among other things, is an attentive awareness of the reality of things (especially of the present moment) is an antidote to delusion and is considered as such a 'power' (Pali: bala). This faculty becomes a power in particular when it is coupled with clear comprehension of whatever is taking place”.

The Buddha advocated that “One should establish mindfulness (satipatthana) in one's day-to-day life maintaining as much as possible a calm awareness of one's bodily functions, sensations (feelings), objects of consciousness (thoughts and perceptions), and consciousness itself. The practice of mindfulness supports analysis resulting in the arising of wisdom”.

“The true nature of the mind,” says the Dalai Lama, “is beyond any concept or physical form, and therefore it cannot be studied solely by third-person, scientific methods. Mind must also be studied through a rigorous observation of our own subjective experience”.

According to Gandhi, “Inner transformation is the key to change”.

Being mindful is a serious discipline, and to take it seriously will have long-lasting and fruitful events that accelerate your chosen path. It is an extreme awareness of what your habits are telling about you. If one is not happy about the message that is perceived by trusted loved ones, then one must make a conscience decision to make corrections, and be ever more aware of the consequence of any actions.

In Conclusion

There is no conclusion until death robs one of any further endeavors or actions. It is a life-long consignment. However it is a choice one makes every moment of every day. It works very well when you have a trusting, and trust-worthy companion. Being mindful may not be easy, but it need not be difficult. Know that if mistakes are made, then there are ways to correct.

Too many people wander about aimlessly in life and when it is over they wonder what happened. For me in my personal life I have made a commitment to Submission. I have decided to become a Slave to that commitment. The commitment is to my Master Michael Samadhi. Near the end of my journey I only need to hear “Well done, you are good and faithful Servant.”  I wish my life to demonstrate my spoken intentions, and to leave no doubt to anyone who observes me.
  
Respectfully submitted
Serafina

legally binding?

"She's dominant in her private life."
      -- Gloria Allred about Alisha Smith

Alisha Smith, an Assistant State's Attorney General for the State of New York, resigned from her position yesterday amid scandal and allegations that she was moonlighting as a paid professional dominatrix.

Smith made the announcement in a news conference, where she was joined by her attorney, Gloria Allred. Described by one source as simply a "high powered attorney" but by another as a "celebrity rabble-rousing lawyer", Allred appears to be a controversial figure in her own right.

Allegedly known as "Alisha Spark" in the BDSM scene, the Attorney General's office suspended Smith last month over allegations that she had used her fetish activities as a secondary source of income to her $78,000 a year position in the Attorney General's office.  It's established policy in New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman's office that employees must seek permission to engage in activities earning more than $1,000.

Smith says that she was asked a number of intimate and personal questions about her sexual habits and proclivities while under investigation by her employer, and she feels mistreated by the suspension without pay.  At yesterday's news conference, Ms. Smith and her attorney appeared to be laying the groundwork for some kind of future legal action.

Here are a pair of quotes from that event so you can decide her future intentions for yourself:

"All their actions towards me have been extremely disturbing because I have never accepted any money or payment from any outside source for anything while I have been employed by the NY Attorney General's office," Alisha Smith said.

"Employers do not have the right to go on fishing expeditions into an employee private sexual activities and an employee should not have to sacrifice their privacy about their sex life in order to keep a job," Gloria Allred said.

I agree that employees deserve a measure of privacy, I'd even agree that they should be free from "fishing expeditions" into their private sexual activities.  I'll even go so far as to take Alisha Smith's words and statements all at face value.

Under the premise that we are innocent until proven guilty, and lacking any concrete evidence to the contrary, I think it's best to move forward with the assumption that Ms Smith did not accept any money in return for scenes as a dominatrix.

It's not difficult to imagine that Alisha and Jade Vixen conspired together in dominating paid clients.  Good submissives are hard to find, so it's not beyond belief that one Domme decided to share a submissive male with her friend. Assuming Ms Vixen alone received compensation, the submissive client still might leave with the impression that Ms Smith was part of the package, part of the service that had been purchased.

If that scenario is anywhere close to what actually occurred, a practicing attorney might satisfy themselves that they were within the law, having scrupulously avoided accepting any compensation.  What she likely failed to consider is that when working for an elected official, the appearance of impropriety is as bad as the actual act.

Is it "fair" that Alisha Smith lose her job because she has a passion for dominance?  Nope
Is it "fair" that Alisha Smith lose her job because she was a play partner to a pro domme? Nope
Is it "fair" that Alisha Smith lose her job because she choose to attend BDSM play parties?  Nope

The problem is when we put all of those questions together . . .

By playing at public BDSM parties Alisha Smith took her sexuality into a public arena, voluntarily losing at least some measure of privacy.  Twittering back and forth with a friend left behind a record of attending at least one of those events.  The fact that the friend is a sex professional further complicates the issue.

None of that is a terrible problem for you or me, but the rules are a bit different when working for a public official.  Let's be honest with each other here, ok?  There is a higher standard that applies when your salary is paid for by tax dollars.  The rules really are a bit different when working for somebody who's elected.

No matter how much we might wish to stand for sexual freedoms, there is no getting around the fact that going to BDSM play parties in the company of professional Dominatrix Jade Vixen while an employee of the Attorney General's office was an act of extremely poor judgement.

Alisha Smith should have realized the danger her extra-curricular activities would pose to a public figure. She should have recognized the dangerous position in which she had placed herself.  While the BDSM community as a whole is becoming more and more tolerant, that's not necessarily the trend among registered voters.

I'm not a fan of frivolous lawsuits, and I'm a strong believer in self discipline, in self responsibility.  I hope everyone here just walks away a bit wiser.

I think it's time to move on over to private practice Alisha, not because you have any reason to be ashamed of what you have done, but because you are worth more than $78K.  I'd think a beautiful, intelligent, not to mention powerful, woman such as yourself could do better simply allowing men to grovel at your feet, occasionally flicking a whip or unleashing an insult.

That is one Dom's view.