"Jack's Blowjob Lessons" - Book Review

fellatrice (plural fellatrices)

1. (rare) A woman who performs fellatio; a fellatrix.

 Serafina won't be blowing one of those silly noise makers at midnight tonight.

My darling Serafina is a fascinating woman.  She came to me after bearing and raising four children, but had experienced one man’s cock in her mouth on a single occasion, and never any anything anal.  She was a total neophyte in the world of BDSM and fetish pleasures.  Until 2011, she struggled giving pleasure orally, it was an odd remnant of her strict religious upbringing.  She confessed to me once that anal sex was easier for her, and seemed less taboo than sucking a man's cock.

As we conclude 2011, I can confide to you that my Serafina no longer struggles at all sucking my cock.  Rather, quite the opposite, she's given me the most passionate and intense blowjob I've ever experienced.  That's saying a lot, as I spent 15 years in a polyamorous relationship with Ms Torment who prided herself on being a world class fellatrice.

So here's a review of the book Serafina gives some credit for making her a world class cocksucker (my choice of words, not necessarily hers.)  About the time this post has been scheduled to appear (12:01 AM New Years Day) I plan to be enjoying her new skills.

Like I said, Serafina won't be blowing one of those silly noise makers at midnight!

Jack Hutson  wrote a guide book titled "Jack's Blowjob Lessons" together with an old friend, Tanya J.  His website can be found here.  he also has a blog, but it can be difficult to find here it is.


There is a healthy bit of information there for those who can't or don't want to purchase the book.  I understand Jack is the self publisher, and one can acquire the book in an electronic edition only.  I am not aware if there is a kindle version.  You are allowed to print your one copy.   However IMO the price of $49. is exorbitant.  Violet Blue’s book, The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio, is $17.


Jack Hutson's style of writing is pretty  much straight from the hip, he speaks today's generation's lingo.  I can easily see that his simplistic vocabulary and short short chapters would be the top choice for most who have busy lives and don't always have time to read a long extensive book.  It is full of grammatical errors, so I guess he doesn't incorporate a spell-checker.


One could pick any page anywhere, and get information.  No matter where you would begin reading, you quickly observe just how passionate Jack Hutson gets about attitude as he re-iterates every opportunity he gets.  I agree that attitude is everything. But Jack repeats his tune over and over. . . and. . .

Jack does not stop at advice for giving the best mind-bending orgasms, he reaches across the entire relationship as well and applies the attitudes there.  In fact, why be concerned about giving a great blowjob if the relationship does not mean that much?  Unless you earn a living giving blowjobs, Jack speaks to the average kinkster here.

But aside from being very egostisticle he makes one very grave error by stating . . . .  “swallowing (semen) — reduces the chances of getting STD’s  when giving head” Other bloggers have much more to say about Jack the ripoff:

Insane Hussein
A Bedroom Blog
Hey Euphoria 
Jack’s Blowjob Lesson: the scam and the take-down

The offer to review and study material on giving great, successful blowjobs came at a time when I very much was looking for it.  I had a few books on the topic, and The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio from Violet Blue.  This book, however gives the entire male point of view and what he has observed his own pleasure and exactly why and what makes that pleasure happen, and then he shares it for the rest of us. How lucky we are!
I can tell you that I would never do a blowjob in public toilets or other dirty places as he suggests. 

I am learning that starting while in the shower together is a very good method for me.  The number one issue of . . umm how clean is it? is resolved by a sensuous scrub.  The warm water is soothing and comforting. It helps me focus.


I would have just one more tip to share and that is for those like me who are still struggling with the texture and or taste of semen.  What I am learning is that the more of my tongue I engage, the less surface there is to get taste from.  By using my tongue this way actually gives him more pleasure, and the more pleasure he gets the less I think about my personal issues.

New Year's Tip & Wishes

refreshing the slave (image from tumblr - unknown origin)

Samadhi's BDSM Tip for 2012 New Year's Revellers
Instruct your manservant and/or chauffeur to make your slave girl drink the bubbly, and have none for himself. Drinking and driving vehicles don’t mix.  The thing to drive home tonight … is in your pants.  

Please be safe and sane tonight in your consensual celebrations (BDSM or otherwise) of all kinds tonight.

Serafina and I wish we could personally thank each of our readers tonight for following along with our story of love, devotion, and surrender.  The most gratifying thing for authors is being read and appreciated.

By 6pm tonight Serafina will be wearing my wrist and ankle restraints.  I'll remove her permanent collar, and place a special dress collar around her neck for the celebration.  I'm thinking by midnight, she'll be wearing rope and a gag, but little else.

Obviously, she's not going to be making calls or posts to give well wishes tonight.  So please accept this sentiment from our hearts . . .

Here's wishing you and your's a most joyous and prosperous New Year!  May 2012 be a blessed year for all!

slave assignment 12/31/2011

New Year's Eve Assignment

My darling slave/wife,

Two weeks have passed since your most recent assignment.  As you should remember, in giving you the assignment I said:

Picture yourself again as a school girl.  You've been given a reading assignment by your toughest professor.  You'll be expected to become completely conversant on the principles outlined in this document, just as you would have in school.  You aren't expected to memorize this document, or return with verbatim quotes from it when questioned.  I'm more interested in overall comprehension and understanding of the doctrine, as well as the ability to thoughtfully discuss it's contents.

Tonight is your exam.  I will test you on comprehension and understanding of the document you were asked to study.  You will be placed into strict bondage, and blindfolded.  It will be an oral exam, and no slut, that doesn't mean I'm asking for head, instead I'll be testing your head.

Upon proof of your working knowledge of the Upper Floor's House Doctrine, we will begin discussing implementation of our own written protocols.  I plan not only to develop written protocols for our house, but I am also designing a slave contract you will be required to sign as a condition of continued service.

You might have imagined that you would be stripped naked for a ceremonial signing of your slave contract, and yes, that will happen.  But first you'll be attending to a detail I believe most dominants overlook.  I will be taking you to a Notary Public where your signature on our contract can be properly witnessed and notarized.

Only after you've affixed your legal signature to the document and had it notarized, only after I've placed the original contract in my safety deposit box for safe keeping, will you be stripped naked to undergo a ritual initiation into the deeper and more formalized level of slavery you have entered.

You, my darling slave/wife, are my most prized possession, the most precious thing I shall ever possess.  To my mind, your contract becomes the most precious legal document I will ever retain, more valuable to me than the deed to my home and property.

Master Michael Samadhi
12/31/2011

it's all in the mind - introducing the Photosonix

Most of our readers probably realize that we are a 24/7 D/s or M/s couple, and that we incorporate elements of Tantra into our lifestyle.  That's the simple explanation for our site's name and web address, that we combine spiritual practices from Tantra with BDSM styled activities to create Spiritual BDSM.

Among other things, we are seekers of truth, sensual hedonists, and dedicated "psychonauts" - a term that translates from it's Greek origins to mean "sailors of the mind/soul."  I'm not positive Serafina would describe herself exactly that way, but I certainly feel it's an apt description for both of us.

Tantra and BDSM both lead to altered states of consciousness, probably most familiar as "sub-space" within the BDSM community.  Exploring those states can help bring about peak sexual pleasure, spiritual insight, and cathartic experience, not to mention being extremely intense and enjoyable.

Now, Serafina and I are beginning to explore a technological means to alter our consciousness through a "light and sound" machine produced by a company named Photosonix.  It's something that can also be incorporated into BDSM play, as evidenced by the fact that Mr-S-Leather offers a Photosonix machine along side their electro-sex gear.

Some of the earliest episodes of Wired Pussy also incorporated a Photosonix into BDSM play.  And, I also remember Kaya of Under His Hand reporting on a scene using this machine, although I can't find the exact post this morning.

Altough I'm not sure it's the most apt descriptive phrase, gadgets like the Photosonix are sometimes called "mind machines."  Here's what Wikipedia has to say on the topic:

A mind machine uses pulsing rhythmic sound and/or flashing light to alter the brainwave frequency of the user. Mind machines are said to induce deep states of relaxation, concentration, and in some cases altered states of consciousness that have been compared to those obtained from meditation and shamanic exploration.

As I alluded to before, similar altered states occur with BDSM play, so it seems the Photosonix could be well used as another means to the same end.

We've only been experimenting with this machine for a few days, so we can't give a complete report, or indicate if our experiments in incorporating this machine into our BDSM play has been any kind of success.  I don't want to give an expensive piece of equipment like the Photosonix a simple cursory review, because the machine and it's effects aren't simple themselves.

What I can say is that at least two of the "sleep" mode settings were effective in helping bring relaxation and clarity after I had a long and stressful day last week.   Before the sessions I had been feeling the onset of a migraine headache.  When the session was done, there was no longer any kind of pending headache at all, the nausea that often accompanies a migraine had also disappeared.. After a short 15 or 20 minute session with the Photosonix, I was left feeling mentally alert, but also very calm and relaxed.

If nothing else, this kind of reaction has great promise for me as a dominant, as there are times where the hardest part of getting into the "masterful mindset" is shaking off the cares and concerns of everyday life.  Anybody who's ever suffered from migraines knows, the ability to stop a monster headache in it's tracks is priceless.

I have no idea at all if a Photosonix unit would help other migraine sufferers.  And, I'm fairly certain machines of this sort aren't allowed to make any real medical claims at all, such is the world of government regulation.  What I do know is it's already proven helpful for me, and we've only scratched the surface of discovering what different combinations of light and sound can do to enhance our practice of Spiritual BDSM.

Serafina and I plan to return to this topic in a few weeks with a more complete review, so like they used to say on television, stay tuned for further developments.

How are you? How was your day?

How are you? How was your day?

What does one reply to the question?

There are lots of people who ask out of just some holy habit. It can be surprising just how strong the forces of habit and rote cognition can be - not really wanting an honest answer. I also know that isn't the case here. But yes - it is such an unexpected thing to have exposed this kind of vulnerability - or fear of being vulnerable.

Almost always when anyone besides Master or close member asks the question, the mind invariably goes into “computer processing “ mode, and given no more thought that computers are capable of giving, Which is to say nothing, and both the one questioning and the one answering are actually grievously dismissive. In the end it is meant to portray a measure of “I care” when in fact neither could care less about the other.

Call it protocol devoid of significance. Or substance, for that matter. I was not used to anyone who actually cared and it was easy to give and OK/fine response because, they were being "nice" by asking but didn't really care. I had done that many times myself.

Sometimes it might feel like a burden or intrusion to have to come up with the details of my day, and sometimes they were interrupting something I was doing. When Master asks. . he really does want to know. He may feel like having a conversation but doesn't have any earth-shattering topic to bring up. It's a kind of an opening gambit . There's no hidden agenda, just wondering about the other ones day.

On the other hand if asked how the day was probably should not be the time to seize the moment and never stop talking or talk endlessly about trivia could eventually shut down the one doing the asking. However during the day when you experience something good or bad you could make mental note that this is something you might share with him at the end of the day.

You might even visualize doing it. Then when you find yourself saying "Fine" you can add, "Well actually, it was better than fine because .... Think of what could happen if we really would ask and really be curious, and be interested in his day as well!

Asking occasionally happens at an inopportune moment, but I love that he wants to share my day. He's the one person that is actually interested in the little things that I mentally bookmark throughout the day what's even nicer, is that it's a two way thing. He has little things to tell me too. As someone said recently “It's a bit like two children emptying their pockets and sharing the treasures they've found that day... a shell, some string, etc!”

tumblr meme Serafina

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tumblr meme - Master Michael

meme/mēm/

Noun:

An element of a culture or behavior that may be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, esp. imitation. An image, video, etc. that is passed electronically from one Internet user to another.

What’s the last thing you masturbated to?
Serafina's open waiting mouth.  I mean it technically is masturbating when I pull out of Serafina before finishing then jerk off on her face, or breasts, isn't it?
Have you ever had sex in a public place?
Does the Pope wear a pointed hat?  I mean for sure.  The first place I had sex was in public, in a semi-rural area tucked in right behind a chicken coop.
Where do you like to be kissed most?
Frenulum preputii penis aka the underside of my cock head.
Do you have any sex toys?
Does a Zebra have stripes?  Yes I have sex toys.  Want to know the very best sex toy I own?  It's my twisted and perverted mind.  Everything else is a tool of my imagination.
What’s your favourite colour lingerie?
Black.
What colour panties are you wearing?
Hahaha, sorry I don't wear panties.  If the questions is meant more for general undies, I'm not wearing underwear at the moment, having just finished a shower.  In the end, like my taste in lingere, my taste in colors for briefs, or boxers, runs toward black.
Where do you like to be touched most?
Honestly?  You have to know I'll say my cock.  OK, I guess for ladies this answer is going to be more varied, but I'm thinking almost all guys want their cock touched most.
What’s your fetish?
BDSM.  All aspects of BDSM
What’s your sexiest article of clothing?
Short-Sleeved Leather Uniform Shirt
What’s your favourite sexual position?
Dominant.  As long as I'm direction the show, no one position is my favorite.  I'm prone to "finishing" on top of Serafina, her legs up high, her arms around the crook of her knees holding them back, spreading herself open.
What’s your favourite part of sex?
Extended play before sex.  Even with my best practice of Tantric willpower, the actual in-out of fucking might last a steady hour without a break for drink, and perhaps a snack to provide some carbohydrates. The flirting, teasing, taunting, tormenting before the actually fucking can last for days.  For me then, that part is the very best!
Do you enjoy role-play?
Do bears shit in the woods?  It might be said I've always been a dominant, it might also be said that I enjoyed the role of being a dominant so much that I became one.  Within BDSM play itself, without stepping out of the dominant role, adopting Dom variants can be great fun.  Schoolmaster, perverted step-dad, pimp, abductor, ringmaster of a sex circus, parader of pony girls, and more . . . If I haven't played the role yet, I probably still want to.
Have you ever had cyber sex?
Do sharks have teeth?  The reason I first went on the web was for cyber . . .
Ever stripped on webcam?
Never used a webcam, so very obviously I've never done anything like stripping on a webcam.
Have you ever masturbated while on the phone?
Does a Leopard have spots?  At age 15 my girlfriend asked what the "clicking noise" was on the phone line.  It was the sound of my hand rhythmically jacking off . . . And yes of course, I've had phone sex with participants who knew what I was doing too.
Ever masturbated with a phone?
No.
What’s your biggest sexual fantasy?
I'm living it baaaaaby!  My biggest single fantasy is to be a 24/7 lifestyle dominant.
What is your bra/penis size?
Somewhat thicker than average, I'm a little shy of being "porn worthy" at 7 1/2" long.  There's a "cock shot" over on Tumblr that I posted to make Serafina happy (I think she wanted to brag to a girlfriend about getting it all the way into her throat.)
What’s the strangest thing you’ve masturbated to?
Please don't hold it against me, it's particularly nasty in addition to being really out there . . . Ms Torment once did something mild with a dog for another Master, while we were married  So the wierd thing I jerked off to was the thought of my ex-wife being sexually violated by a pack of wild dogs.  BTW - she was there, describing the fantasy for me with her own details.
Are you turned on by spanking?
Does a rooster crow at the break of dawn?  Did I say I'm into everything about BDSM?  Here I'm a believer in giving until it hurts!
By ropes?
Really?  Really??  Really???  As surely as Canadian Geese fly south every year without passports, only to return home each spring, I'll be loving rope play.
Gags?
Ask my slave . . . Oh that's right, she can't talk right now, she's tied up by rope, freshly spanked, and of course, severely gagged.  She did say "mmmmpfhgha" when I read her the question, but I can assure you that kind of testimony will never hold up in a court of law!
Tickling?
My bound and gagged slave/wife is panting, she'd been squealing.  All because I reached back for a moment and let my fingers do the walking on her ribcage.  I know all of her most ticklish areas intimately.
Ever had unprotected?
I was a senior in High School the first time a girlfirend went on the pill so we wouldn't have to use a condom.
Ever been bribed into sex?
Depends on how you define the term "bribed" or "sex" - what I'm calling the Bill Clinton answer.
Ever done the bribing?
In role play I have.  I once told Serafina she was my whore, bent her over my bed, fucked her very hard and very fast, then threw a $50 on the bed next to her and left before she could even stand up.
Ever fucked someone much older or younger?
When I was in my early 20's I had a girlfriend in her 40's for a few months.  She was not only experienced, Autumn had lived in a Haight-Ashbury commune during the 60's, she was insatiable.  It was never meant to last, but it was wonderful experience.
Ever been cumshot or done cumshooting?
Does last night count?
Ever had sex with a stranger?
Can't say that I have.
Ever woken up with a stranger?
Can't say that I have.
Submissive or dominant?
Dominance is natural.  I have what has been called a "command personality" if you know what that means.
Do you role-play in the bedroom?
See previous answer about bears, woods, and feces.
Outside the bedroom?
Before you ask this one twice, ask instead - Did Hitler totally ruin little mustaches forever?
What’s the largest thing which has been inside you?
I had a colonoscopy once.
Where do you want to have sex the most?
I'd like to be a guest at one of the Upper Floor's lavish BDSM parties. I'm developing a bucket list with other ideas.
What’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?
On top of a concrete table at an Interstate highway rest area with a group of nuns having lunch no more than 50 feet away.
Have you ever had a sexy nickname?
Serafina calls me Master.  It sounds like music.
Have you ever experimented with the same sex?
I was abused by my same sex piano teacher while in my early teens.  His interest was in sucking young teen's cocks.  It was certainly abuse, but it's not the kind of thing that haunts a person.  I mean there are worse things for a 13 year old than having someone suck your cock once a week, right?
What’s your kink?
24/7 lifestyle BDSM
Have you ever tried whipped cream in the bedroom?
It's not the best for sex food play, but it's not a bad game for the sexually inexperienced.
Sex beneath the sheets or on top?
Both.  Also sex on the floor, against a door, here, there, everywhere possible.
With the lights on or off?
The "Goldilocks" answer - I prefer soft light.  I want to see Serafina's face, admire the body I am ravaging.  Bright lights are too much, and dark not enough, but soft lights are ahhhhh, just right.
Rough sex or smooth?
Both.  Concurrently.
Ever fucked a friend’s relative?
Does my best friend's sister count?
Ever cheated?
See answer about Pope and pointed hat . . .
What one word would describe the most pleasurable night you’ve had?
Serafina!
What one word would describe you naked?
Tool-time!

Play with us. . Answer this meme

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Cherub's request

Back in my 20's and 30's I'd always prided myself on maintaining cordial relationships with former lovers.  My first wife (Charlene) and I slept together off and on for 5 years after our divorce.  While it wasn't perfect, we knew each others needs pretty well, and the reason we'd divorced never had anything to do with sexual incompatibility.  I mean the sex was good enough for her that she even had a couple three ways with my second wife and I.

A lot of that ended with my second wife (Ms Torment), the cordiality that is . . . She had a way of burning bridges, not only for herself, but for everyone around too.

Ms. Torment was a beautiful lady who I now realize was also a narcissistic.  Eventually I learned that my style of dominance isn't a good fit for a narcissus styled submissive, and it only took me a little over a decade to figure it out.

In my defense, she was pretty, she was bisexual too, and she very much believed in our being polyamorists.  I mean what's a man not to like about that?  Oh, I mean other than the constant need for validation that drives some narcissistic people to become unfaithful.

When it was all said and done, the only bridge to my past I've found worthy of repair is a young lady, Cherub, that Ms. Torment and I "dated" off and on for the better part of a decade.  I had to think about that for a moment.  You see we started dating Cherub when she was 19, and the math doesn't add up quite right if we dated her for 10 years and she's still 29 . . .

I know that youth is wasted on the young, but when I was in my 20's and 30's I had no realization of how fortunate I truly was.  Ms. Torment and I had a wonderful string of lovers who were also friends, Cherub being the one who was the best match, intellectually and sexually.

Although we all played at being switches when dating Cherub, in a BDSM context I will always picture her best as a Domme.  One night Cherub and I started spanking Ms. Torment as co-dominants.  Our scene lasted hours.  We may have gotten Ms Torment inebriated with a watered down wine enema (don't try that at home yourselves kiddies!) And, we may have even included some illicit hallucinogens into the mix for everyone (again not on the suggested activity list!)  

But the whole night was a beautiful thing to behold.  Cherub got inside Torment's head and stayed there the whole night.  I've never in person witnessed anyone who got a stronger submissive reaction from "Missy" - as Cherub took to calling the woman who normally prided herself on tormenting others.

If I snapped my fingers at Ms Torment, I'd usually expect a growl in return.  When Cherub snapped her fingers that night, lil' Missy turned and came to heel!

We spanked Ms Torment off and on for something like 5 hours, slow and drawn out, but at times quite severely.  The riding crop we were using had a significant knot on the end where the flapper attached to the crop's stick.  It left little bruises all over Torment's ass and the backs of her thighs that didn't show in candle light.

Torment's ass would get glowing and sore and red, Cherub would pour massage oil down her ass crack and rub it into the burning ass cheeks.  Once Torment's breathing slowed and her ass started to wiggle with desire, Cherub resumed the whuppin'.  At first I joined in on the fun, Cherub and I alternated cheeks and blows, making a blindfolded Torment guess who had landed the last one.

I couldn't believe a sweet girl like Cherub had that kind of natural Domme in her, and as the evening progressed I found myself gazing on in shock and awe, becoming less of a participant and more of a voyeur.  That's the way I'll always picture sweet Cherub, with my bratty second wife over her knee!

But I digress, while this post's about Cherub, it's not about yesterday, it's about the here and now.  She's the one individual from that past who I'm still in contact with.  Since she's not local, and because of our intimate past, I felt free sharing some of my writing with her, writing that ended up on this blog.

Knowing I'm doing some sex blogging and reviews, sweet Cherub asked for a gift recommendation for herself.  Knowing that the choice of a toy is a very personal thing, and not wanting to make assumptions about preferences I might not even necessarily have known a few years back, I asked a few key questions.

Here's the answer I got:

I do have some parameters for my toy, and thank you for asking. I'm mildly allergic to latex- not epi pen throat closing up, but itchy and hive-y. Clitoral stimulation is not my main concern- I'm rather fond of stimulating myself with my fingers to be ready for penetration. Realism is not a priority either, I don't require simulated veins and such. I figure this is for me, by me and I don't necessarily want to replicate the actual feeling of penetration with a partner. I think I want to experience something unique that is a gift to myself-not a substitute for intercourse with someone I am fond of. Which brings me to the tricky question-size. Um- typically I have experienced the most pleasure in penetration with men who have had modestly sized penises. I've had few encounters with men sporting "big cocks" and those left me feeling sort of used and hollow. I realise of course that could also be due to the fact that those encounters did not involve very much emotional affection. I am just not wired to feel that mythical electric lust at first sight. I don't see someone and think, "oh, wow- I really want him to fuck me!" It's more like, "oh wow! he is so cool, I love how he thinks, I wonder if he wants to fuck me?" So, totally diverging from the matter of size. I feel like goldilocks- all right- girth is preferable to legnth...So- is that the information you need?

Yes indeed, it's enough to go on my dear.

The other criteria I had, was budgetary.  Cherub is a masterful massage therapist I'm told, but that's not a profession that's going to lead to immense riches, so she's a lady on a budget.  My suggestion needed to remove less than $50 from her hard earned paycheck.

I also took into consideration her values and lifestyle.  Cherub isn't going to feel good about a toy from China.   She wasn't letting anything with phthalates into her apartment, let alone into a more private space of her person.  I'm sure she'd prefer something made here in the US, and no doubt she'd like the manufacturer to be both environmentally conscious and worker friendly.

One fun thing about being a gear slut is that I've spent more than my share of time shopping for adult toys.  I study this stuff for fun, it's a hobby quickly turning into obsession.  So I had the answer for Cherub's request in mind almost as quickly as I read her note.

The manufacturer I suggested for this intelligent and environmentally conscious lady is Tantus.  They meet every criteria she gave me, and all the extras I already knew to be her preferences too.  Choosing a model wasn't too difficult either, as one of their closeout models is a wonderful bargain.

My suggestion was the Tantus Echo.

I don't know if it's the color Cherub would choose for herself, but we choose the Midnight Purple, it's a really nice toy color.  Yes, I recommended a toy already in the Samadhi Toy box.  You see, before I stand behind a recommendation, I always . . . . errrrr . . . . ummmm . . . "stand behind" that toy.

As I've said before, when it comes to dildos, I believe it's far better to give than to receive.  So in this case "standing behind" means I've given it a push.

So I'll push it again here.

This is the one you want Cherub dear.  I can't say it'll be as good as a new pair of boots at attracting a great man, but it may help assure you want that potential "Mr Right" only for the right reasons.

Hugs and kisses from your old friend, former lover, sometimes co-conspirator, and occasional Dom.

Michael
12-28-2011

confessions of a gear slut

Hello, my name is Michael, and I'm a gear slut.

I'm a collector of BDSM gear and other adult products.  Some might say I'm out of control, that collecting BDSM gear has become an obsession, a hobby that's nearly as important to me as the actual BDSM acts and scenes I love so dearly.

I'm not sure.  I can tell you that it's so bad that vendors and manufacturers are getting to know me personally.

A couple smaller vendors like Adam and Gillian's Sensual Whips and Toys have long ago become like friends to me.  After talking to Gillian on the phone to their workshop, and exchanging multiple emails, not to mention sharing a hobby, how could I not feel the tugs of some kind of kinship?

Similar friendships are likely to be built with other craftsmen and craftswomen I am frequenting more and more over time.  I've very much enjoyed shopping from the couples behind Wyred Slave (great folk by the way!) and Happy Tails Floggers and Whips.  I'm sure I'll be talking more to them both in 2012.

I've gotten to know the folks over at Tantus well enough that Serafina and I got a personal Christmas Card from one of their management team, who we hope to meet in person when vacationing in 2012.  We are also planning to tour their production facility at the same time.  

I'm pretty sure that so many packages have been delivered from Mr S Leather and The Stockroom through my local post office that the clerks there have been curious enough to google the corporate return address on the packages.  I can't find any other explanation for the knowing looks and the sudden change to addressing me sharply as "Sir"!

I've exchanged a few emails with the Brand Manager of Liberator.  Twisted Monk is a Facebook friend for both Serafina and myself.  I'm friends with Maui Kink folk over on FetLife.  And, I'm still seeking new BDSM vendors and manufacturers to add to my "stable" of friends and suppliers.  

After exchanging some emails with the Tetruss bondage suspension rig, Serafina and I have discovered an interesting and thoughtful individual.  We have purchased one of his rigs for ourselves, and we'll be writing it up here at SpiritualBDSM in 2012 as a product review.  

My collection of restraints is extensive, but everything in the collection predated my relationship with Serafina.  She has embraced her slavery so completely and fully, I felt as though she deserved to have a set of regular restraints that had never been worn by any other.  Meaning, Canada's Aslan Leather gear will get a thorough review here in 2012.  I've ordered a complete set of their Master Series Restraints for Serafina in purple - wrist, waist, thigh, and ankle restraints, including a matching collar.  

I'd really like to make another similar restraint order later in 2012 from Sinvention, yet another Canadian supplier of BDSM gear.  I'd love to match this years Aslan restraint order for comparison purposes (wrist, waist, etc.) from Sinvention's Classic Deluxe line, and I've also been eyeing their line of medical style restraint.

I'm still lusting after a few more pieces of E-Stim (electro-sex) gear too.  I'm planning for 2012 to bring purchases from Eros Tek as well as Paradise Electro Stimulations.  Serafina and I are just exploring this territory, but she's finding it very exciting.  I suppose watching video from our subscription to Wired Pussy isn't hurting there . . . 

So, by the time I've finished listing all of these purchases, all of my obsessions, it all leads what might be called "Confessions of a Gear Slut."  As I've said before, my name is Michael, and I'm a gear slut!  

Funny thing is, I don't have any particularly strong individual fetishes. I mean I love latex, PVC, and leather; blindfolds and gags are a turn on for me; I have a thing for bondage and restraint; corporal punishment and discipline can fuel my fire; and, there's at least a little bit of a sadist in me.  But none of those alone are a singular driving force.  

I simply just love it all!

Maybe it would be easier if I only loved one aspect of BDSM play, if perhaps I had a single true fetish that drove my desires it would be easier to be satisfied with what I've collected.  I can't help wondering . . . 

Ahhh, probably not.  

If I was a latex fetishist there'd always be one more piece I wanted, or needed.  Were I simply into leather, I'm sure the story would be the same, one more belt or pair of chaps, a new leather shirt.  

12 steps

So here I am.  I've apparently entered territory where I should be starting some kind of twelve-step program for folks like myself.  I can't be alone with this problem.

If all of this seems a little dire, not to worry, I'm anything but despondent about my "problem."  You see I have one other issue to tackle first, as there are times I'm at least a little bit of a procrastinator.  Quite obviously that problem will need to be dealt with first.

Looks like I won't get around to starting that Gear Slut Support Group until at least 2013.  That gives me plenty of time to take advantage of at least one more sale.  To make just one more buy . . . 

SpiritualBDSM.com is an affiliate partner to Tantus, the Stockroom, and Mr-S-Leather - however no links in this post carry any affiliate code - all images and logos associated with this post are property of their original company and respective owners who retain all copyright - use of these images does not imply endorsement of SpiritualBDSM.com by their original owners

conserving ignorance

hys·ter·i·cal

   [hi-ster-i-kuhl] 

adjective

1.

of, pertaining to, or characterized by hysteria.

2.

uncontrollably emotional.

3.

irrational from fear, emotion, or an emotional shock.

4.

causing hysteria.

5.

suffering from or subject to hysteria.

A number of Christian men have confessed to me that they clicked on a porn site out of casual curiosity. They just wanted to see what the excitement was all about, but they became addicted almost immediately. I'm reminded that serial killer Ted Bundy started on his road to perversion and murder by innocently looking at 'nudie' magazines as a boy. It only took one time for him to become hooked.
    --  Al Menconi, from the American Family Association

Today's topic is the so called "religious right" (also known as the Christian Conservative movement) and their ongoing war against entertainment they call pornography.  I'm basically here to tell you that the religious right is neither religious nor are they right, and that the so called Christian Conservatives are mostly interested in conserving ignorance.  

As we can see from the quote which opened this post, folks over at the American Family Association equate the viewing of a single "nudie" magazine with becoming a serial killer.  Apparently, if you open just one online porn site, you'll become hopelessly addicted, you'll be just like the heroin addict scouring the streets for his next fix.

In case you are thinking I picked an extreme quote, that I'm exaggerating, that surely the religious right isn't so myopic as to believe that sex and sexually titillating materials are the root cause for all of society's ills, then you are not listening to their rhetoric.  Maybe that is a good thing, but it also may indicate that you are probably more than a little near sighted yourself.

Here's another example of the dangers of becoming sexually excited by a magazine or video:

"First, as more hardcore pornography is sold, more is produced, creating a demand for more porn 'performers' -- many if not most of whom are teens or look like teens. Second, as more 'adult businesses' open, there are more public venues for anonymous sexual encounters and the resulting spread of STDs, including AIDS. Third, as more 'adult businesses' open, more neighborhoods in communities large and small are adversely affected. Fourth, as more hardcore pornography becomes available, more youth are exposed to it; and the porn they are exposed to is more violent, degrading and perverse. Fifth, as more persons become addicted to hardcore pornography, more marriages are prevented or adversely affected; and more persons act out porn induced and fueled sexual fantasies -- oftentimes in a criminal manner. Sixth, as more persons are exposed to hardcore pornography, more are influenced to adopt its 'values' and lifestyles -- which contributes to the breakdown of morality."
    -- Pure Life Ministries

See, I'm really not making it up.  Some people truly believe that a sexually frustrated man wanking off to porn is directly contributing to the breakdown of the moral fabric of society.  I really thought we got over that in the '60's.

Discussing this with Serafina, she postulates that morality is a bit of a pendulum, swinging back and forth between the repressed and the libertine.  She assures me that another generation of free loving flower children are on the horizon.

She may be right. I hope she's right.  But, I'm not sure myself.  Her prediction certainly won't come to pass if Pure Life Ministries and the American Family Association (AFA) get their way.

Here's more rhetoric from the AFA:

Pornography leaves the impression with its viewer that sex has no relationship to privacy, that it is unrelated to love, commitment or marriage, that bizarre forms of sex are the most gratifying, that sex with animals has a specially desirable flavor and that irresponsible sex has no adverse consequences -- no venereal disease, illegitimate births, abortions, premature marriages, single-parent families or moral erosion. I see no way that a torrent of materials with this subliminal message, which ultimately fans out to reach people of almost all ages, can fail to have pernicious effects. Not that someone sees pornography and then rushes out to commit rape. That may happen, but that's not the main problem.
    --  Reo M. Christenson  American Family Association

I can imagine raising my hand and shouting out - "Point of order, Mr Christenson!" - only to call the man out for being titillated by bestiality.  I've never seen any commercially released video that contains sex with animals, let alone one that portrays bestiality as having some kind of special desirability.

I mean I've heard stories of donkey shows south of the border, but for God's sake man, those are punch lines from television, they are filed under the category - "Stupid Things Said by Charlie Sheen" - but I don't think they directly lead to abortions and or illegitimate births.

And while I'm at it, how do you like him throwing out - illegitimate births, abortions, premature marriages, and single-parent families - all in the same sentence?   The ONLY thing those topics have in common is somebody had sex.

Well, except perhaps in the case of the premature marriage.  You see I've observed a great number of folks who came from the religious right ending up in premature marriages.  If you can't have sex until you get married, some will get married in order to have sex!

My perspective here is very simple.  There are going to be times as we are growing up when our hormones are peaking and we have no experience with the feelings and urges they generate, times when the biological urge for sexual intimacy will overcome common sense.

When that happens, I'd much rather see a young person left with a feeling of remorse, of regret for a sexual encounter that wasn't perfect, than to watch them flail about in a hopeless marriage they rushed into because they were taught it was the right thing to do!

By the way, I was married the first time at age 18.  I proposed to a girl because circumstance led to us becoming roommates, and I'd been taught that I should to do the "right thing" and marry her.  She wasn't pregnant or anything like that, but by accepting her help in paying my rent and in engaging in hot sex, the morals I'd been raised to believe led me to make her an "honest woman".

Like there was ever anything dishonest about real love or youthful explorations!  Sheesh!

just beginning, never completed

The following post was written 6 months ago.  It was first conceived as an introduction of sorts for a blog I was starting on a different site.  It was a "false start" it turned out, but the thinking and concept evolved to become SpiritualBDSM.com.

I feel like a master gem-cutter who has been delivered a stone holding the potential to be his life’s Master Work.
Awed by the stone’s beauty, he dares not cut or change much, realizing intuitively that this kind of beauty could never be totally shaped by man.
He lays awake at night imagining how he might apply his craft, dreaming that perhaps with the proper ability and craftsmanship, he just might find a way to enhance the stunning natural beauty.
Several times during the day, he interrupts his other work, just to gaze at his prize, to ponder and plan.
When the time comes to make the cuts, he is thoughtful and deliberate, yet supremely confident in his craft and in the outcome.
After all, it’s simply the vision from his dreams.

The woman I call slut came to me as innocent and pure as the driven snow, and raw like an uncut gem.
Of course I am exaggerating a little in making that statement, as she was not quite innocent.
Prior to our first meeting she had raised sons and a daughter, she’d witnessed and experienced both triumph and tragedy, but she had never experienced any true pleasure in the bedroom. At least not any that wasn’t self-administered.
She had experienced one man’s cock in her mouth on a single occasion, and never any anything anal. Obviously, I don’t need to tell you she came to me as a total neophyte in the world of BDSM and fetish pleasures.
It wasn’t that she didn’t desire a more playful presence in the bedroom. I know she longed for such a presence for many long years.
Inexperience certainly wasn’t for a lack of womanly charms on her part either. My slut is a sexy and alluring woman, she has been since the very first moment I laid eyes on her.
My sweet wife, who is also my submissive/slave, is one of the most wonderfully interesting and intriguing individuals you’d ever meet.  She’s unlike any other woman I’ve had the pleasure of knowing, with a depth of passion and character I’ll never tire of exploring.
Now that she is mine, I would not trade her for any other woman , nor for any prize or sum that might be offered.

She is a project that is always just beginning, but never will be completed.
She is my life’s work.
She is my slut.

way too good to resist

Need a quality silicone dildo?

On a budget?

Have I got a deal for you!

This isn't marketing bull crap.   Serafina and I have bag of toys, enough dildos and vibrators and butt plugs to stuff every starter on both sides of a football game, and still have some left for substitutes.

Even with that plethora of plastic pricks, I still couldn't resist the sale.  I bought two items from this sale for Serafina and myself, and I'll be sending an email to at least one dear old friend, tipping them off to this opportunity.

Tantus, makers of premium quality adult pleasure objects, is having an unbelievable sale.  Between today and the first of next year, closeout items (already discounted) are going to be marked down an additional 60%.  They are practically giving this stuff away!  

Use discount code CLOSEOUT60 when checking out between now and January 1 to get in on the tremendous bargains.

For instance, the Adam O2 Mocha is selling for $21.20 once all discounts are applied.  

When the Adam O2 was released, the original price was in the $85 range.  To be very honest, the O2 line of toys from Tantus is so good, it was worth every penny.  In fact, that's what an O2 Adam is selling for today at Eden Fantasys.  You can't get the Mocha color from Eden Fantasys, but all the other colors (cream, caramel, black) are there for full price - $84.99.

If you'd like that dildo in a beautiful chocolate brown that Tantus calls Mocha, it's more than $63 less.  If you grab one this week, it's $21.20.  You can't beat that price with a stick!

Part of what makes the O2 line of dildos so special is a feature Tantus calls "Dual Density".  Here's how the manufacturer describes it:

A Super Soft™ outside and a hard muscle core both made of Tantus’ own unique blend of 100% Ultra-Premium Silicone.

Trust me, it's even better than they describe.  This is a super premium silicone, and the soft outer layer over a hard core makes the feeling of a Tantus O2 dildo exquisite.  I've never had one used on me (I really buy into the adage that it's better to give than receive when it comes to dildos) but I can say from the other side of the shaft that they are beautiful to work with, unique and sensual just to touch or fondle.  Simply the best dildos in my toy box.

If that sort of advanced technology dildo sounds good to you, then the really good news is that there are three O2 dildos included in this sale, Adam O2, Mark O2, and Mikey O2.  Each one originally retailed for around $85, each one can be had this week for only $21.20.  The order placed from Samadhi house was for an Adam O2 Mocha and a Mikey O2 Mocha, our total cost was $42.39.

There are a lot of other premium silicone items available from this closeout sale, more than I'd care to list here.  It's almost like a tour through our toy bag, which is an apparent testament to our love of the products made by Tantus.  Sale items that already reside in the Samadhi toy bag include: the Rascal, the Spiral - Midnight Purple, the Beginner Beads - Red, the Advanced Beads - Electric Blue, and the Echo.  

Remember that the prices you see next to the closeout products will be discounted by another 60% by using the CLOSEOUT60 discount code when checking out.  A good number of the toys listed there can be had for less than $10!  That's far cheaper than you will usually find "craptastic-plastic" dicks made in China that are full of toxic chemicals like phthalates.  

Tantus is not only offering a great price for a top quality product, they are one of the most enlightened toy companies in the world.  The Tantus production facility is right here in the US, in Nevada.  For a whole variety of reasons, I don't really want to use toys made in China, so it's great to have a company who not only makes wonderful products, but does so here at home.  Tantus is contributing to our economy, not enriching some repressive regime with horrid human rights records.

In a previous post here at Spiritual BDSM titled "exemplary actions," I discussed even more details of the enlightened practices at Tantus.  I can't say too much, or too often, how impressed I am by these folks.  To the best of my knowledge and experience, Tantus is one of the very best, perhaps even the absolute pinnacle, of quality and enlightened management among manufacturers in adult toy industry.

And this week only, you can get a wide variety of their products for a song and dance.  I'm not just "whistling dixie," it really doesn't get any better than this . . . 

Gnostic Christmas?

gnos·tic/ˈnästik/

Adjective:

Of or relating to knowledge, esp. esoteric mystical knowledge.

I've always been a seeker of truth.  One of the things that attracted me to Serafina is that she also is a seeker of truth, in all it's forms.

End of life makes us consider . . 

It's not always an easy path, being a seeker.  While my Serafina remains a practicing Christian to this day, she's been invited by more than one particular church to worship elsewhere.

If you are thinking those invitations had anything to do with the lifestyle we live today, you couldn't be more wrong.

Those incidents happened long before we knew each other, back when Sera was a God fearing, Bible toting, and home schooling Mother raising her 4 children.  She was damn near a "poster child" for what today's religious right appears to be.

Except for one thing.  Serafina asks questions.

Everyone talks about an era when children were supposed to be seen and not heard, but there have been recent times where that was also expected of women.

I believe Sera was told the equivalent of, "Shut up, sit down, don't ask questions."  The essence of the message she was given was to submit to the will of her church leaders, after all they had been trained, she hadn't.

I can picture my Serafina bristling at the suggestion that she shouldn't think for herself.  Trained or not, she had a mind of her own, and she could read the Bible as well as any minister or preacher.  Why could they not be questioned?  After all, are they not mortal men themselves?

My experiences, while not directly equivalent, were equally messy and problematic.

I remember wondering.  I remember asking questions.  When I felt like the questions were not answered, or worse yet, that the question was avoided by my Minister, I had my moments of doubt.  I teetered on the brink of losing faith.

I told my Minister, a man who I considered to also be a friend, about that feeling.  I suppose I was looking for compassion, understanding.  I suppose I was still hoping for answers.

I was told about the fiery pits of Hell to which my soul would be confined were I to continue doubting.  I was told of untold tortures, agony, and suffering.

Perhaps the moral there is the one I often give to my slave/wife in a BDSM context;  "Be careful what you wish for."

I mean I got my answers all right.  But they certainly weren't the answers I was looking for.

So, I went looking for other answers.  No God I could worship would forsake a man for a moment of doubt.

For the longest time I've considered myself a Buddhist Christian.  I'm a weird hybrid.  The Dali Lama has said he sees no great inherent contradiction in following Buddhist practices while worshiping a Christian God.  Misunderstanding Buddhism to be a religion rather than a spiritual practice (there's a difference - at least in my mind and understanding) my personal faith is often condemned by fellow Christians.

More recently, I've been reading a bit about Gnostic Christians.  Here's an interesting tidbit:

Gnostic Christians believed that questioning one's faith was always important.  To know (gnosis) Christ was to to  seek a deeper and honest meaning for one's  life.  This gnosis led to wholeness in a person's relationship to God and the world.  Christ's way was a spiritual  journey, encouraging persons continually to seek God and all truth.  Gnosis did not mean secret knowledge but a vital relationship with Christ and God.  
    -- Larry Angus

The Gnostics were also condemned by their fellow Christians.  It's my understanding that they were condemned for asking questions for questioning everything.

Sounds good to me!

While I'm not particularly interested in adopting any new belief systems, I'm always looking for truth, gleaning kernels of wisdom as I find them.  As such, I'm currently enjoying my explorations of Gnosticism as an intellectual exercise, an experience in truth seeking.

On this spiritual journey we call life, I intend to continue seeking truth, beauty, worldly pleasure, and God.  It no longer matters to me what the name of my belief might be, just as today's December 25th date isn't even the most important day of the month to me.

But I do also know that today's date might be important to you.  It's not likely many others reading this post have a slave/wife who's committed to making every day like Christmas.

As such, I'd like to extend well wishes to everyone I've ever met or known, as well as anyone joining the conversation over the world wide web.

Merry Christmas everyone.  May your holiday season be filled with joy, light, and with truth.